Color me Embarrassed

So a little over two weeks ago I wrote about how working out was bad for you and you should never do it.  Obviously I was just kidding, I think exercise is good for the mind, body, and soul as well as for canceling out the calories I drink.  That being said, the week after my dog's incident during our run I used him as an excuse to not go to the gym for an entire week.  I wanted to get right home from work and take care of him.  The next weekend we were out of town so no gym action went down.  The following week I was sick so that was my excuse, last weekend I had to work (excuse), Monday night I worked (excuse), and last night we had friends over for dinner.  These excuses are all lame.  My gym is open 24 hours a day.  I am embarrassed to admit it has been 16 days since I last worked out.  I know tonight when I make my grand re-entrance to the gym it is gonna be real ugly.  I can anticipate how sore I will be already.  Why do we make these crazy excuses?  Or is it just me?

My hiatus from the gym isn't the only thing I am embarrassed about right now.  I am a little embarrassed by the country I live in too.  Don't get me wrong America is my girl.  I love her.  She reminds me a little of myself, mostly good and kind but sticks her nose in other people's business WAY more than she should, sucks at money management, and does embarrassing things from time to time.  I am not saying I am not grateful and happy to live here, if I wasn't I would move to Canada and would be enjoying health care and poutine as we speak.  No guys, we all do embarrassing things.  I am the first to admit I occasionally pee in parking lots, and have even been known to dance on a bar or two and hug complete strangers when I am drunk.  I think the embarrassing things America does are way worse though, because they are not just embarrassing, they also don't make any sense.

Like this issue of gay marriage.  Why is this an issue at all?? Why are two HUMAN beings not allowed to get married in every state?  Why can a couple who met the night before at the casino get married in Vegas, but only if they have a P and a V??  Why can my best friend not marry someone he loves and get the same benefits a man and a woman would when they get married?  Why can couples who own homes together, and love and are entirely committed to one another not get married?  I personally think everyone should be entitled to register for wedding gifts, not just certain people.  I don't really see the difference between saying a gay couple can't get married and saying two red heads can't get married. Think about it, if two gingers have a kid that kid will likely be a ginger and get teased.  For some reason that is acceptable though.

(Fred don't get it either...)

I am embarrassed that America enslaved a specific race of people not even 200 years ago too.  What was she thinking?? I mean I have a slave and his name is my boyfriend.  I did not select him based on the color of his skin but rather because he is really good at buying me stuff and doing things for me.  America's whole idea that it was cool to treat people like they weren't people because of their race boggles my mind.  I honestly cannot wrap my head around how this one happened.  It's too crazy for me.

I also am embarrassed that to this day people dislike others based on their race, religion, gender, ethnicity, etc...  Like what the hell.  People are all cool in their own way, and if they aren't it is because they are jerks not because they are black, or white, or gay, or whatever they are.  Let's get with the program and be nice to each other.  We think it is so crazy that not so long ago schools and restaurants and pools and even water fountains were segregated, but yet so many people still treat those who are different than them with hatred. 

I think it is pretty embarrassing that women couldn't vote less than 100 years ago.  WTF America?? Talk about crazy.  I have been taught since i could talk that women were better than men.  My mom used to make us recite, "girls rule and boys drool" over and over again as kids.  I believe this with every fiber of my being.  Women are way smarter and prettier than anyone with a wiener.  We all know it is true.  Boys are just cute so we have to keep them around.

These are just a few of the things that embarrass me about my friend America.  I know she will clean up her act one of these days, but until then I think she needs to lay off the booze.  I get really lovey dovey when I am drunk which is bad enough but it is obvious America just gets real judgey and hateful.  No one likes a mean drunk.