TGIF

Hey Kids.

Happy Friday. It was another real good week, nothing too exciting but that's ok.

 1. I got a ton accomplished and had a really good time at work all week. This is my cute office. I spent most of my evenings going to the gym and watching trash TV. A few dog park trips here and there but nothing too wild.

2. Tuesday night Jose took me out for Indian food. It was delicious as always. I am sure the calories I consumed were equivalent to those I burned all week at the gym, but it was still worth it.

3. Thursday we had five of our buddies over for family dinner night. I made summer pasta with all kinds of veggies and a salad. There were Klondike bars and Frisbee involved. I couldn't have asked for anything more. Here is a pic of Fred and Jose (they were there) because I forgot to take any pictures.

4. It is officially travel season! Jose and I have three trips planned in the next three weeks to three different states. I could not be more excited. We haven't been able to go anywhere yet this summer because of my work schedule so we are making up for lost time. Tonight we are heading to Virginia to stay in a cabin with some friends and canoe the Shenandoah River. And by canoe I obviously mean binge drink. We come back to work for 2 and a half days then make moves to the Outer Banks to spend five days in a beach house, and the following weekend we are meeting my parent's in Philly.

5. Jose's car is in the shop and he had to use mine today. So he drove me to work this morning before he went in. That means I got up at 4:30 and was to work at 5:30. I prefer not to wake up anytime before seven so this sucked ass in a big way. I treated myself to jerky, diet Pepsi, and some salt water taffy to make up for it. So much for clean eating today...

Ways that yoga is like real life...

If you follow me on tweeter or read this blog, you know I am almost as obsessed with yoga these days as I am with wine. Almost.

I am not sure if it is the challenge factor, the desire to get really good, or the fact you don't have to wear shoes that I like most...but whatever it is I am hooked.

I have discovered many ways it parallels with real life during classes.

One of the key components to yoga is balance. I am trying to incorporate lots of balance into my everyday life. I do this by combining multiple yoga classes and runs during the week with copious amounts of high calorie alcohol on the weekends. I also indulge in chicken wings from time to time. I hear they are good for the soul.

Anyway here is a drink that is one of my absolute faves. It has cucumbers in it, so it is very good for you as well. Namaste.

The Cucumber fresh

Ingredients:

Melon Flavored Vodka 

Cucumber Slices

Soda Water

Simple Syrup

Directions:

Muddle 2 cucumber slices in the bottom of a glass

Add ice

Pour in a whole bunch of melon vodka

Add one small splash of simple syrup

Top off glass with soda water (I use about a 4 to 1 vodka to soda ratio but I am a lush so adjust to your liking)

Garnish with a cucumber slice on the side. It's a must.

shit I just don't understand

My post yesterday was a pretty sweet, so I have to get a little bit snotty today. I'm better at being snotty.

-Non-drinkers. Obviously I will let this slide if you are a small child or recovering alcoholic. I will even let it go if you are pregnant or it's against your religion, but otherwise I just really don't understand. Getting drunk is my favorite thing to do second only to laughing. I am not sure I really trust people who don't like to drink. I mean what's not to like??

-People who enjoy shopping at Walmart. That store is my personal hell on Earth. Once in a great while I forget how absolutely horrendous it is and set foot inside. I always instantly regret it. The Walmart in the little town I live in takes the cake for white trash levels, I am fairly convinced it is the epicenter of inbreeding in the entire state. We are getting a Golden Coral next month, I can only imagine how much worse that will be.

-Football. I really don't get it I'm sorry. I'll tailgate any day of the week though. I'll drink while I'm doing it too.

-People who don't like cheese. If it didn't have so much fat I would eat cheese on everything. I used to get really confused when I waitressed and people would order pizza with no cheese because they just didn't like cheese. What the hell is wrong with you? It's a goddamn delight as Shannon would say.

-Girls who stay with asshole guys. I have a few friends in this department. I love them but I really want to kick them in the shin for dating such losers. You can say what you want about Jose, but he is a damn nice guy.

-People who claim to not like TV. Be honest you're lying. Everyone likes TV. I try not to watch it too much, but during a good hangover I can easily kill 10 hours on my couch with the old boob tube. I am totally content only moving to get food or pee. I won't even start watching new shows anymore because I will most likely get hooked. And let's be honest I have enough to keep up with as it is.

-Girl's who quote: Don't get along with other girls. I stole this one from Stephanie's recent blog post, but it is something i have always agreed with. There is a crazy bitch who has been showing up uninvited every time my neighbor's and I hang out in my yard. She constantly says she hates other girls...I really want to say well then go home because last time I checked I'm a girl, but it is technically the common area (as my boyfriend constantly reminds me). I have plenty of guy friends but they are not anywhere near as awesome as my girlfriends. I could not imagine a life without girlfriends.

-That's all for now. I swear to god I'm not a negative Nancy, I just don't get it sometimes.

things that make me loose my shit in a good way

just a little list of things that make me happy...because my friend over at Champagne and Pizza told me to.

-Pictures of animals that befriend other animals.

( I can hardly even handle this... )

-Travel sized deodorant.

-Fred the dog, every single day.

-Group text messages with my best friends.

 ( ...this is mostly just a joke. Mostly. )

-Coconut anything.

-My niece and nephew.

-New shoes.

-Warm summer nights.

-Days at the beach.

-Laughing so hard it hurts.

What does it for you guys??

Monday Monday

It was a damn good weekend you guys. Damn good. I hope you had a great one too, because it is now officially summer and by law we are all required to get drunk and have fun a lot.

I am too busy at my lame ass job today to write anything clever, so I am just going to tell you about my weekend. 

And also, let's get together and kill Monday. I was 24 minutes late this morning, so I will have to stay 24 minutes extra today....not cool.

Friday night I went to Target and bought a bunch of shit I don't need.

This includes but is not limited to; a bathrobe and two beach chairs. 

I then went to Zumba. It was magical as always. 

We dog sat for a few hours for our friend who just moved away so she could pack. Skipper is the little black dude to the left of manfriend. She came and picked him up and we said our goodbyes late Friday night.

Naturally after saying goodbye I needed to drown my sorrows so Jose and I went up to a local dive bar where a group of our friends were. I think I had approximately 38 jack and diets and several shots of Jameson...woof.

I also decided it was a good idea to invite a bunch of strangers back to our house after the bar closed. We drank all the shit liquor that was left on my bar. It forced me to get real inventive with my drink mixing because we really didn't have any mixers either, but I am pretty skilled in that department.

You can probably imagine we woke up feeling less than awesome Saturday morning. And by morning I mean afternoon because my ass did not get up until noon.

I was still pretty wasted when I woke up but we had plans to go to a beer festival that day, so I got my act together kind of and we went and scooped up two of our little friends. 

We ate some gas station food on the ride to the festival because we are classy.

It was hot, so most of the festival the four of us (all but one hungover) laid on the grass behind some trees in the shade drinking our beers. I was feeling pretty good after my first beer, but manfried was still on the struggle bus. At one point after my hangover turned to a buzz I started trying to teach the guys how to do some yoga poses. I was in a dress so I am sure this looked about as classy as when I was eating a gas station sandwich behind the wheel.

After the festival the guys decided they wanted to steam and eat some crabs. It is a big thing here in Maryland. People love crabs. I can't get into it.

I like the taste of crab, but picking them and dealing with the nasty ass guts is not for me. The boys ate a shit load though.

Sunday morning and Jose and I took sweet baby Fred to the dog park. When we pulled in we noticed a group of folks "Larping" in the football field. I know about larping because I saw it in a movie once. 

We then went to the Thai restaurant to get some delicious food. The restaurant is also a Thai grocery store and I saw this crazy ass mayo bottle. I sort of want it.

I did a little more shopping after lunch, then fried myself at the pool. It was glorious.

After the pool we cleaned the house and then our neighbor rang the bell and invited us to dinner at his place. He had made a ton of delicious BBQ. A free surprise dinner is hands down the best end to any weekend.

As was, watching Don Draper shit the bed on Mad Men.

honey you baked.

It was a good week, but it dragged a little ass if you ask me.

Here are some photos of what I have been up to....I know you might not care, but to be honest I just really enjoy making collages.

1. Back in the olden days I used to be a long distance runner. When I graduated from high school however, I traded my Nikes in for Miller Lite and never looked back. About two months ago for some reason Jose and I decided it would be cute to start running together. To be honest I have fucking hated every minute of it. Don't get me wrong, I feel good after, in a wahoo you weren't a fat lard today kind of way, but I have struggled with almost every run. Until Tuesday night that is. Tuesday night was the first run I have really really enjoyed. I went alone at about 9:30 pm and it felt great. I do not know if it was the cool night air, the Alabama Shakes on my iPhone, the lack of dog and boyfreind, or what, but it was some good shit. This photo is how sexy and sweaty I look after a run. I went again last night and it didn't suck either. Let's hope this continues.

2. I pretended to be Stephanie from the blog Bourbon and Glitter this week when I made my first ever batch of booze cupcakes. One of my best pals loves huckleberry flavored vodka and her going away party was this week so I figured it was my civic duty. I cheated a lot, because I used a boxed cake mix (I'm sorry I hate baking, something to do with actually following instructions throws me off every time). I did make the frosting from scratch though. I mixed two packages of cream cheese with about two cups of powdered sugar and a few shots of the vodka and blended it. They came out awesome and I got pretty drunk during the process.

3. This little blog of mine, I'm gonna let it shine! I am super excited that this silly blog now has over 100 followers. I know this is nothing compared to some, but I feel like a gazillion bucks. I cannot thank you all enough for following, and commenting, and being excellent. As a thank you to my loyal readers, I purchased myself a new pair of sunglasses and my first hair wand. I imagine it will be pretty hilarious and post worthy when I attempt to use said wand for the first time, so it really is a gift for you all.

4. My friends and I bid farewell to a member of our crazy little family on Wednesday night. We decorated the back room of her favorite bar and had a good old time. We took awkward family photos, gave her gifts, ate, drank, and really just enjoyed our last night together. I'm going to miss that bitch.

5. It's a hard knock life for an event planner. This weekend is the first weekend in the entire month of June I have not had to work. You read that right, I have worked every damn weekend this month. Jose and I have no plans other than a birthday party tonight. I hope to spend a lot of time at the beach and pool so my legs can turn from their current hue of blinding white to just regular person color. I will probably do some running, and will definitely be doing some drinking as well.

Hope you guys have a great weekend.

so much free stuff....

Now that this little blog of mine has almost as many followers as my dog's Facebook page I figured it was time to get a little serious about things. At least as serious as I am capable of being. I made the plunge and decided to sponsor some other blogs and now by god I am a part of two giveaways.

Even though I am trying a little harder to make this blog of mine internet famous, I have still got some learning to do. Like for example learning to use less ridiculous images for things like giveaways. I have yet to take an actual "selfie" pic, and have been relying solely on the Facebook photos others tag of me and the occasional drunk iPhone picture.

I imagine the way I nurture this blog is similar to how I would raise a child if I had one. I would try to buy its love, but inevitably just embarrass it.

Here are the giveaways, and my embarrassing pictures.

So enter that shit guys.

This one is being hosted by Southern Beauty Guide....just look how sloppy drunk I am in that photo. Why the fack did I choose it?? Lord only knows. I do know the night that beaut was taken I tossed my cookies in an alley and was thrown out of a bar in Chicago. I had to work the next morning, so naturally I ended the evening partying in a suite with some semi-professional rappers; one of whom stalked me for weeks after.

Natalie: Blog // Facebook  -   Adriana: BlogLovin' // Blog  -   Bekah: Facebook // BlogLovin' Brittany: Twitter // BlogLovin'  -   Amy: Blog // Facebook  -   Erin:  Blog // BlogLovin' Leslie: BlogLovin' // Twitter  -   Allison: Facebook // Instagram  -   Rachel: Twitter // Instagram Jacquelyn: BlogLovin' // Twitter   -   Chelsee: Blog // BlogLovin'
What's Up for Grabs: 3 Months of Ad Space from Natalie AD Space from Adriana Ad Space from Bekah $5 in Paypal Cash from Brittany Ad Space from Amy Saturday Guest Post & Pair of Beer-Ings from Erin Gift card from Leslie Ad Space from Allison $20 Store Credit to Country Couture from Rachel $5 in Paypal Cash from Jacquelyn AD Space from Chelsee

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Here is the second hosted by Helene in Between. Once again I choose an excellent image to represent myself. I was super tanked after a wedding in this one. Directly after it was taken my date and I toilet papered the floor of our hotel then convinced the front desk clerk to let us swim in the pool...

Belinda, Found Love. Now What?

 3 Months of Tea & Crumpets Ad Space

Blog//Twitter//Facebook

Kali from Kaliwood

$10 giftcard to DSW

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Janna from Faith, Love, and Hope

 Rich Taste of Louisiana Coffee Sampler (Ground) from Community Coffee

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Erin from The Party Girl's Guide

$25 to Bath and Body Works

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Nicole from Treasure Tromp

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Lindsey from Life on Countryside

$15 Gift Card to Bath & Bodyworks

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How to dress for a hangover

Yesterday I pretended I was a food blogger, so today I am going to play fashion blogger.

With my own twist of course.

This blog post is brought to you by the letter "H" for hangover. More specifically how to get your hot mess of a self dressed for work when you have one.

We have all been there. Stayed out a little too late, had one too many shots, only to wake up the next morning feeling like complete shit.

I may or may not have spent 4 days a week in this state at one point in my life.

Your first reaction when this happens is to sleep in until the very last second and then just throw something on. Preferably something like sweatpants and no bra.

Obviously if you work somewhere requiring you to face the public this is not an option.

I have a few tried and true tips for ways to mask your hangover and not look like a total disaster even if you feel like one.

1. Taking a shower is a very good idea. It is super tempting to sleep that extra 30-40 minutes and forgo the shower. But when a hangover is lurking the shower can be your saving grace. Plus there is less chance you will reek of booze.

2. Dry shampoo is a gift from the gods. You should certainly wash your body, but you can forget the hair and save yourself a helluva lot of time by using some dry shampoo on the old mane.

3. The cuter you look, the less likely people are to assume you are hungover. When I feel like death warmed over I try to overcompensate and make myself look extra cute. It tricks people, and then you can say you just have a migraine and they won't judge you for being a borderline alcohalic.

4. The bun is a GD lifesaver. I am so happy the bun is in style. For the days when you cannot fathom actually putting effort into your hair just throw it into a bun.

5. Leggings and a cute top don't feel that different than pajamas. If you are really struggling, go for some leggings or a comfy dress and you can take a snooze at your desk in comfort if the opportunity presents itself. Don't judge, sometimes even 28 year olds need a nap.

6. Big earrings make it look like you give a shit. My go to work look is skinny jeans, a dressy t-shirt, and some dangly earrings...my current job is very casual but this can be transferred into more dressy work attire too by swapping jeans for black pants. It takes about 12 seconds to get ready and looks like you actually put thought into it.

7. If you really wake up late and don't have time to make yourself over...at least throw on some mascara and lipstick. You will look slightly put together and it can be done in the car.

another recipe....you're welcome.

Today I actually got up at 5:30am to go to yoga class...you read that right: am. I have the intention of doing this every Tuesday and Wednesday but this is only the third time it has actually happened.

I am proud as punch. I am also proud that I successfully made falafel for the first time last night.

One of the downsides to living in the boondocks (at least it is a downside if you are are chow hound like me) is a lack of good restaurants. There are very few ethnic restaurants in these parts. Like only 3...that's not a lot.

I happen to be a big fan of middle-Eastern food and there is certainly none of that around here...not even in the grocery stores. So like any good Food Network addict would do, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I present to you my falafel recipe:

You will need:
-1 Can of garbanzo beans (or chick peas if that's how you roll)
-3 cloves garlic
-1/4 cup of onion
-1 tbsp. olive oil
-1 tsp. cayenne pepper
-2 tbsp. fresh parsley
-2 tsp. cumin
-some salt

for the cucumber sauce (it is a must)
-1 small Greek yogurt cup
-1/4 cup of diced cucumber
-2 cloves garlic
-some salt n' peppa

Directions

Falafel patties:

1. Pre-heat oven to 425.
2. Drain and rinse garbanzos and add them to a food processor (I use the Ninja because it is sexy).
3. Chop garlic and onion and add to the possessor with your cumin, salt, parsley, cayenne, and 1 tbsp. of the olive oil.
4. Blend that shit up. You want it to be a bit chunky but blended enough to form into patties.
5. Form it into patties and put it on a cookie sheet. Do not line that cookie sheet with foil like I did...that was not a wise decision. Drizzle (or brush) the patties with the remaining olive oil.
6. Bake patties for 20 minutes, flip them and bake for 20 more minutes.

Sauce:

1. Put one cup of Greek yogurt into a mixing bowl.
2. Chop some cucumber (I don't really know how much...I would guess about 1/4 cup) and 2 cloves of garlic very fine.
3. Add cucumber, garlic, and salt and pepper to the yogurt. Mix it up.
4. Put it in the fridge to cool.

I served my falafel with wheat pita, lettuce, and some grape leaves (I wish I could say they were homemade, but I will give Whole Foods the credit for those delicious little devils).

I will be honest, the falafel wasn't as good as some of the deep fried varieties I have had in my day, but it was probably a bit healthier and it was really good.

when I grow up...

There is a little blog contest going on over at Venus Trapped in Mars...

It is a cutest baby contest, you can vote for me here. Thanks.

If I win I will get a Sephora gift card and lord knows I can use all the help I can get in the make up department. Plus I spend the equivalent of a car payment anytime I enter that damn store so a gift card would be swell. And I was the cutest baby, so it is your civic duty to vote for me.

If you need another reason, just look at what my mean old dad said when I asked him to scan a baby photo for me.

He actually followed through however and sent me a bunch of old photos and in looking through them, I realized I am pretty much the exact same person I was as a youngster....just not quite as adorable.

I have always been a bad driver...

and a crazy dog lady.

I still love a good present, and the pound puppies.

Many people continue to think of me as angelic.

I always wear green velvet dresses for family photos.

And I will always enjoy being naked. Just ask my old roomates about my 21st birthday, or our trip to Jamaica. 

it's Friday bitches...

1. I spent a shitload of time at the dog park this week. What can I say, I'm a good mom. Fred made a new pal in this cute little boxer.

2. Wednesday night I did in fact have frozen yogurt for dinner. I went with the fat kid delight and that bowl you see contains not 1, not 2, but 4 flavors of fro yo as well as kiwi, strawberry, and chocolate chips. The winning flavors were peach and watermelon. I have wanted more since the second I polished that puppy off. Don't you dare judge me either, because by Wednesday night I had taken 4 yoga classes, so I didn't even feel too guilty about my diabetes dinner.

3. If you haven't been following #shitunclekennysays on Twitter, bitch you cray cray. He arrived on Wednesday night and has been making me laugh ever since. I am posting all his comments on my twitter, and trust me there are some doozies.

4. I took Thursday off work to hang out with Sir Kenny. It was nothing short of fabulous. We went shoe shopping, antiquing, out to lunch, and here he is at the sculpture garden we visited. It wasn't even my idea to go to an art museum, he asked to go...shopping and art museums are up there with drinking on my favorite things to do list so Kenny's activity choices made me real happy. I really love going to museums with Kenny. It is amazing how he appreciates and interprets things. Sorry I am a museum geek.

5. After our great day, I made a nice dinner for Kenny, manfriend, my buddy Mandy, and I . Right before dinner we got a pretty wild thunderstorm leaving everything a muddy mess. We finished dinner and multiple glasses of wine and magically our friend Natasha, who drives a pickup, showed up. A drunk Mandy decided mud wrestling was the best way to cap off the evening. A drunk me agreed. So that is what we did, we hopped in said truck and went to the nearest soccer field. We slipped and slided, and flung mud at each other. It was nearly as fun as it was disgusting. Kenny wanted no part of this shit, but he did watch and judge us from the parking lot. When enough was finally enough we climbed into the back of the truck and rode home, stopping at my apartment complex car wash station to hose each other off.

In case you wanted to know what manfriend looks like in blackface, here you go:

and here is a little song for you. It totally fits this post because it has the word peach in it (my favorite yogurt was the peach) and it talks about being in the dirt...maybe this is a stretch, but who doesn't like this song?? The answer: no one...that's who.