The PLD

The PLD also known as Poor Life Decision is something we all make.

Be honest, you probably made over a thousand your first year of college alone.

For me, PLDs typically occur when I am intoxicated, but not exclusively.

PLDs can include sleeping with someone you regret, being mean to someone you shouldn't have, a bad hair cut, and anything in between.

Perhaps the most painful PLD I have ever made occurred a few summers ago at a party my mother threw. It is no surprise I am a party girl because I come from some pretty wild parents. My mom who insists we call her mombo is also known as Big Sandy. My dad gave her the nickname and she loves it, Big Sandy is anything but big, in fact she is one of those assholes that eats like a truck driver and weighs next to nothing. She likes to host parties quite often and her an my dad have a sweet purple shopping cart that they fill with booze in the summer and push around their neighborhood serving drinks to anyone they pass. Don't you wish they were your neighbors?

This party cart has a horn, battery powered tiki lights, and all kinds of other accoutrement. It is the talk of the town. For as long as my parents have had this cart, my friends and I have enjoyed pushing each other around in it when we got drunk (past tense). Anywho, this a fore mentioned party was my mom's biggest to date. We named it Big Sandy-palooza and created fliers, hired a band, ordered multiple kegs, stocked the bar with booze, and got a caterer. It was bad ass to say the least.

(This shot of my dad and I is the only photo I can find from the entire night)

I don't think I need to tell you that I got shmamered at big Sandy-palooza...it goes without saying. After all the old folks had gone to bed and just the hard core drunks were still awake, my friend and I decided we wanted to go for party cart rides. She and I climbed into the cart and our buddy started pushing us down the street.

"faster, faster," I imagine we both yelled. He ran and ran and eventually his drunk ass hit a curb. She and I flew out of the cart. That is all I remember about that.

The next morning I awoke to find my face was completely swollen and bruised (Yes, I said my face....awesome I know) and it was obvious one of my ribs was broken. My wrist was pretty sore as well. I found my friend sleeping in the living room and discovered she too was pretty banged up. Not her face though, only I was that lucky. I legitimately looked like a victim of domestic abuse.

The face took a few weeks to return to its beautiful self as did the wrist. The rib on the other hand was insanely painful for over a month. What a smart cookie I am.

I will not re-hash all my PLDs or it might make me cry, but this morning I made a big one and that was juicing radishes. That shit was so nasty...I cannot get the taste out of my mouth. Don't do it, I am warning you.

PLDs are not to be confused with regret. I have made a million poor life decisions in my day but have only two regrets.

Those regrets are waiting until I was 28 to get into yoga and quitting the piano.

So ce' la vi, make some PLDs and be happy...just don't you dare juice a radish.

(Click this for more great party stories from some terific blogs)