Cooking with Jose

Despite the fact that I am probably one of the best cooks in the entire world, I am a really shitty baker. I have however found one type of cookie that I don't burn or otherwise ruin, so naturally I make them all the time. One of the guys at my work is obsessed with them so I bring them in for him from time to time. We got into a little tiff last week because I am really good at ruffling feathers at work, so I figured I would make him a batch as a peace offering.

My manfriend, Jose, decided to help me bake because we are just adorable like that.

Here is how our conversation went:

Jose, "we are just like 2 Broke girls, want to start a business?"

Me, "I didn't know you even paid attention when I watched that."

Jose, "Oh yea, it's one of your only shows that I don't hate. So which one are you?"

Me, "Max"

Jose, "That makes sense you are more drunk and bitchy than me."

After the cookies had baked 8 minutes I checked to see if they were done. They needed a few more minutes so I put the microwave on for 2 minutes. Not the timer, just the microwave because I am sassy.

Jose, "Whoa, don't do that you will break the microwave."

Me, "That's just an old wive's tale."

Jose, "Bullshit! Ask my mom, I broke hers the day of my brother's graduation party when I tried to microwave a fly. She wasn't happy, but I killed the fly."


After that comment, I was laughing pretty hard and started putting cookie dough all over his face in that darling way couples do at weddings. Then I pushed him over and held him down so Fred the dog could lick it off his face. He didn't find it as amusing as I did.

Now there is fucking red velvet cake mix all over my kitchen.

But the cookies aren't burned so I am happy. And the best part of the cookies is they have white chocolate in them which I consider a sin against chocolate so I won't eat any, there aren't many things I won't eat.

Here is the recipe for my fool proof red velvet cookies in case you are interested.

~You will need:

2 sticks softened butter

2 cups white chocolate chips

1 box red velvet cake mix

1 egg

1 cup flour

-Preheat oven to 350

-Use a mixer to beat softened butter into a fluff (that's a technical term)

-Slowly mix in flour and cake mix

-Mix in egg

-Fold in chocolate chips

-Shape dough into balls and place on cookie sheet.

-Bake for 8-10 minutes.

But beware the red velvet cake mix kind of has a mind of its own and flies all over making a damn mess.