A timeline of my life through booze

1999- At the ripe old age of 14 I got shwasted for the very first time. My then (and still) best friend and I filled up pop cans with my parent's booze when they were having a party. That weekend we snuck down to my basement and downed shot after shot of whiskey for her and vodka for me. I was pretty hardcore as a child.

2002-2003- After such a harsh introduction to the devil's water, I did not drink again until my senior year. This time around I changed my poison to Mike's lemonade and Five O'clock vodka. My mom will deny it, but I used to give her $6 and she would buy me a fifth of Five O'clock on the weekends. I would then mix it with OJ and chain smoke newports. Pure class.

2003-2005- When I arrived at college I lived on keg beer and pucker. I would literally split a fifth of cherry pucker with my neighbor in the dorms almost every weekend. Yuck. I also from time to time when watching calories would fill a water bottle with vodka and a Crystal Light packet. It's actually quite good.

2006- By my junior year I had left the pucker for the kids and traded over to team Captain. My college roomate and I would wait on our nerd neighbor's porch after class and flirt with him until he would buy us a half gallon. We would mark the bottle at the halfway point with a sharpie so we would know when to quit.

2007- When I turned 21 and started hitting the college bars every night my go to drink was vodka tonic and  fruity shots. I despise tonic water and fruity shots these days. Too much of a good thing I guess.

2008-2009- After college I was feeling real classy. I had a big girl job that paid a whopping $24,000 a year, so naturally I chose to drink the most expensive thing you can drink: martinis. I still love a good stiff one.

Now- I wish I could say I gave up the hard stuff but honestly I just switch it up a little more these days. Nine times out of ten at a bar I order Jack and diet. If I am home it's usually red wine. I also frequently get down with the craft beer and have been known to put a hurt into some Fireball whiskey. I will also always, always love my Miller Lite.