Monday, September 9, 2013

turkey legs and big old boobies

In case you didn't guess by the name of this post, I spent this Saturday at the Maryland Renaissance festival.

It made for some grade A people watching as I'm sure you can imagine.

I also learned a thing or two should I ever find myself stepping back in time again.



-The best way to prepare for a Renaissance Festival is by drinking Puerto Rican alcoholic Capri Suns on the ride there.



-Your boobs should be out and about at the Renaissance festival whether they look good or not. Even if you are in your late 70s, bust them out. Do you clock in at 600+ pounds, show those girls. It don't matter, they just must be out.

-Shirts are optional at the Ren Fest. Just like the ladies, men need to expose their chests as much as possible.



-Do not forget your cod piece! Especially if said piece is gold and you are wearing your devil horns. There were a lot of devils walking around in the 1500s.



-If you sit in the front row during a skit, someone from your group will be forced to participate in the show, and it will be awesome.



-Always take the slide when possible. Walking is for chumps.



-Turkey legs are not that good. Even though everyone is walking around with them, save your money.



-You feet will get filthy at the Ren Fest and you may need to wash them in a fountain.



-If you hang around with a bunch of drunks they will be called onto the carpet.



I learned a bunch about history too, apparently people during the Renaissance loved to wear raccoon tails, they had deep fryers, Pepsi was the soft drink of choice, and many men rocked crocks.

Sami's Shenanigans

13 comments:

Miss Riss said...

I've always wondered about those turkey legs...glad the verdict is in.

Chloe said...

Well duh, Pepsi is fit for a king. ;) I love rennaisance festivals. So interesting. If not the history, then the freaks who show up.

Chelsee W said...

Holy crap at the boobs!! You are too flipping funny girl. I have always heard that renaissance festivals were a blast. Looks like you had a great weekend!

Jess @ Living On Sweet Tea said...

I miss the ren fest! I havent been since middle school... or something like that haha I want to go be a drunkard =)

Monica said...

I havent been in so long but I now think I need to go as an adult! Looks like fun :)

Jordan said...

I've never been! I prefer sausage on a stick (thatswhatshesaid) and have never even tried a turkey leg. I may go this year though, it looks pretty fun!

Kim Brown said...

hahah- people watching is the BEST at the Renn Fest :)
I never get the turkey legs, but the "Scotch eggs" are the bomb. (As well as the mead ;))

Kathy@MoreCoffeeLessTalky said...

can you go around calling everyone a 'wench'? or is that the wrong time/era?

-kathy
Vodka and Soda

Helene in Between said...

hahaha the name of the this post made my day. that is all.

Kristie's Blue Jeans said...

I love it! This makes me want to go the Renaissance Fair, however it is in June and about a trillion degrees!

Kerry @ Till Then Smile Often said...

It is a good thing I don't eat Turkey! OMG! It should be renamed the Boob Fest! Glad you had fun!

Heidi said...

Please explain the capri sun drink!! I cannot go back to a Ren fest. Last time a drunkard spit talked on me. Ew.

Unknown said...

When I saw your title I knew it was going to be about a ren fair. Craig loves to go and look at swords.