things that chap my ass

Judging by the title of this post you might assume I am in a foul mood. You would be wrong...but then again you know what they say about assumptions.

I am in fact as happy as a pig in you know what. The reason I am so happy is because I am currently in the wonderful state of Michigan visiting my family, friends, and most importantly this guy:

If you are shocked I am posting from vacation, you should know I am actually writing this post well in advance (it is Friday afternoon as I type)...now that shit right there is shocking because I never ever write anything in advance on account of I'm just not that organized.

Being in a good mood however will not stop me from bringing you some grade A sass though, don't you worry.

So here you have it, a list of things that really chap my ass.

-Working on projects with asshats. I have always been more of an independent person when it comes to working on things that matter, but recently I found myself in a situation where I was forced to work on a project with someone that involves close to $200,000. That is a whole lot if you ask me, and guess...what this asshat in question has totally dropped the ball and just last week attempted to throw me under the bus on the matter. Lucky for me I save emails like a squirrel saves nuts, and it will hopefully all be resolved soon, but come on now.

-Running skirts. I am sorry if you happen to wear them but I really don't get it. They look silly and uncomfortable in my opinion. My yoga teacher wore one last week and I almost left the class. It's uncalled for if you ask me.

-The Boston Redsox. They have some cute players and all, but they have got to stop being so damn good.

-When people get in my way while I am shopping. During a recent Trader Joes trip, I am pretty sure everyone but me in the store had sampled some weed brownies, because every single person was in la la land and would not move their carts or bodies while I tried to shop. Even the employees were totally spaced out. I just want to get my organic whole wheat cous cous here people so get the frick outta my way....or at least share the brownies.

-The new no talking on cell phones while driving bull shit in Maryland. I hate driving. There are only two things I enjoy doing whilst driving and they are smoking cigarettes and talking on the phone. Now, I quit smoking like five years ago because I hear it is bad for you...but now the state is telling me I can talk on the phone? What gives? There are many occasions where I really need to gossip with my sister on a long car ride, or times when I need to place a carry out order at a specific time during my ride home from work to pick it up, or when I need to check with Jose to see what ingredients I need for dinner. Point is, my life involves a lot of food related emergencies that require cell phone usage. I can totally get on board with the no texting and driving thing, but I really don't see how talking on my phone impacts my driving. In fact if I am not talking on my phone I am probably talking to myself which is way more distracting. To say I am fired up about this is an understatement.

I am going to stop there before my good mood goes bad, but I hope you all have a glorious week. I plan to have a few posts for you during my trip, but I will be drinking more than the recommended amount most nights (and days) so I can't make any promises.