call me little deen

Have you ever seen the show on Food Network hosted by Paula Deen's son Bobby? If not, you aren't really missing anything, I just happen to spend about 4 hours a day watching cooking shows so I have seen them all.

This one is called "Not My Mama's Meals" and basically little Bobby takes old Paula's recipes and uses like five sticks of butter instead of ten. From time to time he even uses some low fat mayo or skips the cheese on a dish.

I am a pretty healthy eater. I would say about 80% of the time I eat vegetarian and unless I am real wasted all the food I put into my temple of a body is organic and non-processed. That is not to say I do not adore some processed food, I happen to think Taco Bell is amazing thank you very much, I just feel like shit when I eat like shit, so I don't.

At least once a week though I like to channel my inner Bobby Deen and take a not so healthy recipe and turn it good, or at least not so bad. This is usually a result of manfriend insisting he wants to eat some meat and is sick of kale, eggplant, and quinoa which are my staples.

I am much like little Bobby, aside from the facts that I am not Southern in the least and I would bet money my mom has never said the nasty "N" word. Other than that though, we are just alike.

If Pinterest isn't lying to me, there are many of you out there who love a good unhealthy meal and want to skinny it up a bit so today I will share a few of my recent successes.

The first is Chicken Nuggets and Fries.

Chicken nuggets in my mind are one of the most delicious foods. To start they are the perfect vehicle for sauces including the heavenly ranch dressing. I really enjoy them from two of the finer fast food establishments: Wendy's and McDonalds. I have to be pretty hungover or drunk to eat anything from either of those places so last night I took matters into my own hands and made super simple chicken nuggets and carrot fries.

Nuggets and Fries

You will need:

Boneless skinless chicken breast
Organic panko breading
Chili powder, Italian seasoning, salt, pepper, paprika
Olive oil
Carrots

Directions:

Chicken:
-Preheat oven to 350
-Pour a generous amount of panko onto a plate and mix with chili powder, Italian seasoning, salt, pepper, and paprika.
-Cut chicken breast into nugget shaped pieces and coat in panko mixture.
-Place breaded nuggets onto a sheet pan that has been coated with a bit of oil to prevent sticking.
-Bake nuggets flipping once for about 30 minutes or until breading is crisp brown.

Fries:
-Peel carrots and slice into thin fry like strips.
-Coat with a little bit of olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper.
-Place on a sheet pan and bake at 350 for 30 minutes stirring occasionally or until crispy.

I shit you not carrot fried taste exactly like sweet potato fries.

Next up, Mac and Cheese. Because really, who doesn't love Mac and Cheese.

Quinoa Mac and Cheese

You will need:

1 cup Quinoa
Shredded Parmesan and mozzarella cheese
Mustard
Cayenne pepper
Coconut milk (like the kind from the carton not the can) you could also use regular milk, soy, or almond milk
Butter
Flour

Directions:

-Cook quinoa according to package directions, it is basically just like cooking rice you use twice as much water as quinoa and bring to a boil then simmer for 20-30 min but you must rinse the quinoa well before cooking.
-In a sauce pan melt a small slice of butter (maybe a tbs or so, you should know by now I don't really measure). Whisk a few pinches of flour into the melting butter to form a paste.
-Once you have a paste, stir in a 1/2 cup or so of coconut milk. Season with mustard and cayenne pepper.
-When the liquid is at a nice simmer start stirring in your cheese. Now the beauty of this recipe over regular mac and cheese is the sauce is so nice and rich and creamy already you hardly need any cheese. I only used maybe 1/4 cup of cheese. If you have ever watched someone make a regular batch of the stuff you know the amount of cheese involved is obscene. Delicious but obscene.
-Once the cheese is incorporated just stir in your quinoa and enjoy.

This was hand to God amazing. Jose and I ate way more than our fair share it is so good. You can adjust the seasonings to your taste, I might do some fresh garlic next time...but whatever you do make this shit.