a different kind of fan

I am gonna be real honest with you here...I am not a sports fan.

I was super uncoordinated in high school but wanted to be part of a team so I had to run track and cross country. No one chooses to run as their sport, it is because you are too blonde to kick a ball while you are doing it.

The fact that I do not particularly like/understand sports does not hold me back however. In fact I am an excellent companion at any sporting event...unless you actually want to watch the game. 

So today I am going to share with you a few quick ways to enjoy games without actually watching them. It is going to be real short and sweet like my attention span because I have got a meeting to get to.

1. Dress the part. Just because you can't name a single stat and only know the names of the players you want to bang, does not mean you can't show some team spirit. I love to bust out my Tigers and Michigan State gear despite knowing zilch about the teams. Also keep in mind Victoria's Secret now carries adorable team clothing, or you can always leave your seat and shop for some cute apparel in the stadium. The prices are a little high for my liking, but once in a while when manfriend is drunk enough he will give me some walking around money during a game.

2. Tattoo your face. Always, always tattoo your face. Because let's be honest here, everyone looks goddamn adorable with a logo on their check. Apply said tattoo before you start drinking though, or it may wind up ass backwards. I may or may not be speaking from experience here.

3. The most fool proof way to enjoy a sporting event is to get shitfaced. This is my go to at any game I am not particularly interested in. Now this rule does not apply for baseball (at least for me). When it comes to baseball, there is a small window between sobriety and wastedness where I genuinely enjoy and can sit still for an entire 9 innings. See also: tipsy. If I get drunk all bets are off and I wander the stadium, if sober I will fall asleep...it is an art form really. When it comes to basketball, hockey and football the best option is to get sloshed...it will cost you a pretty penny if you opt for the stadium bars, but it is money well spent if you ask me.

4. Make friends. Any mediocre situation can transform into awesomesauce if you meet some cool peeps. I like to wander the halls and talk to everyone. I do the same in my seat. I also happen to have a manfriend who everyone in the world loves and wants to be bffs with so that helps out too. The cuties pictured above on the right are my sweet niece Evie and her best friend Cam. Your welcome for that little slice of adorable.

5. Lastly, if you simply cannot get on the wagon of the usual suspects, (baseball, football, hockey, basketball) simply find sports you love and just run with that. I for example much prefer beer pong and tubing to football so I spend my free time perfecting those crafts not punting balls. (that sounds so dirty and I like it).

And because no sporting event is complete without a little Jock Jams...here you go.