The other day as I was watching the old boob tube I saw a commercial for a new dating service.
For farmers. I shit you not.
See for yourself: www.farmersonly.com
There are just so many choices out there to hunt for men I can't even handle it.
From time to time I miss the single life. Kissing new boys every night and going on first dates and all that jazz, but honestly if I were to suddenly to become single and decided to go the online dating route...I don't even know where I would begin.
Back in the old days there used to be eHarmony and Match.com. Now you have like 18,000 options.
There are dating sites for Jews, and Christians, and blacks only, and geezers, and now farmers apparently.
I guess if the time ever comes, I will just have to start my own dating site and it will be called: hotrichfunctionalalcohalics.com. Because that's my type.
To be honest though, I will probably just use the casual encounters section of Craigslist. I love me some Craigslist.
This will be my ad: Hey there, I really like peanut butter, text messaging, and dogs. If you buy me dinner and drinks somewhere fancy I will show you a boob. But just one. My sweet skills include; TV watching, hula hooping, and doing impressions. I am also ridiculously good at charades and Catch Phrase. Looking for a cute guy who resembles Matthew McConaughey (before he got skinny) and drives a motorcycle. A good job and tattoos are a must. What are you waiting for, give me a call!
22 comments:
is it weird my dad and i scroll through the craigslist personals daily and send the funny ones to each other via email and laugh?
Have you seen the commercial for Cougar Liife.. I mean they have a site for EVERYBODY now! When I first saw the farmers one I thought it was a joke...
LOL I saw this advertised on tv and I was like wtf? Totally smashed my dreams of marrying a farmer that I met online right there..
Don't forget about Ashley Madison "the online personals & dating destination for casual encounters, married dating, discreet encounters and extramarital affairs."
Just because you've done the "til death do us part" thing doesn't mean you should be excluded from the perks of finding someone on the interwebs.
You don't have to be lonely at farmers only dot com. I fucking hate that commercial. They've played it a billion times here. I mean isn't that what farm stores are for? To meet other farmers. Us alcoholics meet others at parties and bars so....
my friend tried plenty of fish for a while but go so overwhelmed that i offered to be her Screener. I went through all of her messages and picked out the weekly top 5 and emailed her that list. man, those profiles are ALL KINDS OF HILARIOUS!
and now farmers!! HAHAHAH!
can we just sign up?
like for shits and gigs and dick pics?
When I first saw this, I thought it was an SNL spoof!
We definitely signed one of my guy friends up for Farmers Love as a joke. The median age on that website seems to be about 50.
HAHA the farmers only one gets me everytime with the talking cows!
Bahaha... I am single and let me tell you how bad online dating sux out there. Seriously, my hair hurts just thinking about it. My favorite is a site called Sea Captain Date should you ever become single and decide that you only want to date a sea captain!
Cheers:)
Where you watching dance moms?! Because I just saw that commercial last night during dance moms, i was dying!!
This is hysterical!
xx
Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes
"...I'll show you a boob. But just one." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Definitely have the Farmer's Only jingle running through my brain now. Most ridic thing ever
you're my fav. and I would definitely sign up and get a profile on your dating site.
Count me in to hotrichfunctionalalcoholics. Can you add the word auto mechanic in there too? Thanks.
Haha that is the PERFECT ad! You'd get so many responders. I've been looking for a Matt M look-a-like to be my suga daddy.
Just one boob!!! LOL!! You are too much!! Those sites kill me! I once got a response on a dating that said..."You're hot let's F**K"
"I'll show you a boob. But just one." I seriously almost spit out my water!
Who would have thought! I don't know where I would start if I had to start dating either. It is scary stuff!!
20somethingbusinesswoman.com
OMFG- this is too much!!! Have you seen the Cougar dating website? That too is classic.
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