i'm tipsaaay

This may come as a shock to some of you, but from time to time I drink too much.

As in a shit ton of booze goes into my mouth and I time travel to the next morning.

It is pretty often that I forget the happenings of the night before and only figure out what went down by examining the bar receipts I find in my purse.

Usually throughout the next day I can piece together the night by the flashbacks I have. It's kind of a fun game really. Except on the days when I recall saying really dumb shit the night before, ain't nobody got time for that.

For example, last weekend in Philly I decided it was a great idea to have four glasses of wine before dinner. Then two at dinner, followed by a beer at the first bar we stopped in, a gin drink at the second, a Moscow mule and shot of vodka at the third, and a night cap of a beer at the last stop. Needless to say, I don't remember that last bar too well.

Jose did tell me that I got a litte sassy however. Apparently two guys sitting near us at the bar were telling the bartender a story about when they were robbed at gunpoint and escaped the situation by throwing a piece of dog poo at the armed robber and running away. I guess after I heard the story I proceeded to tell the bartender, "they are lying. that never happened." The two guys I am told did not appreciate that but the bartender loved it and bought my beer for me. I stand by my statement...no way is that true.

It got me thinking though, how the hell do I act when I'm all drunked up? I decided to do some investigative journalism via, consulting Facebook photos and talking to Jose and here is what I have concluded.

Ten things that will happen when I am drunk: