My Fam Damily, Uncle Kenny Edition

I mentioned Uncle Kenny here, but want to share a little more about him, because he truly is the coolest individual on this planet and he has been on my mind because I bought a plane ticket for him to fly out to Maryland for a visit in a few weeks...be preapared for some wild stories.

Kenny may be young at heart, but dude is getting up there at 66. Since he is on the older side he was never officially diagnosed with any type of disability, but at birth the oxygen was cut off to his brain causing him to be a little different than most of us. And by different I mean incredibly special.

(I like to take him to fancy restaurants like Hooters)

Kenny is the sassiest mofo you will ever meet. If you want an honest opinion about something, ask him. After getting my highlights done a while back I asked Kenny what he thought: "It's way too light". Thanks man...just what I wanted to hear.

He loves to shell out parenting advice to my sister.

"Kim make sure you hold the baby's head and don't have anymore kids. Two is enough."

He loves the shit out of her kids though, so I have a feeling if she has more he will accept it. He also calls everyone hun, and occasionally speaks and gestures to my niece as if she were a dog, and by occasionally I mean always.

Kenny has been known to send out hate mail. If you piss him off, he will get even. His therapist got onto his shit list a few years ago and Kenny sent enough hate mail to get himself banned from that doctor's office. If that isn't bad ass I don't know what is.

(Kenny at the Smithsonian when he came to visit)

Greeting cards are like gold in Kenny's world. If you do not send his Christmas and birthday card at least a week in advance he pretty much hates you. And don't worry he keeps track. Two years without getting a card from you and he will remove you from his mailing list for ever.

Kenny is diabetic but eats sugar like it is going out of style when he can get away with it. He once ate six cupcakes and blamed it on me.

My sister called me when she discovered the missing cupcakes and asked, "how drunk were you last night?"

Me, "Not very, why?"

Kim, "You ate all the left over dessert."

Me, "Umm no."

Kim, "Dammit Kenny!"

He then told her he knows when to quit with the sweets because he has had diabetes his entire life (not true). Yeah, he knows when to quit alright, when everything is gone.

(Enjoying a cocktail when he came to Maryland last summer)

Kenny loves classic cars, Harley Davidson, and HGTV. Apparently he has quite the interior design flare as he recently selected bright pink paint for his bathroom when my mom re-decorated his condo.

Kenny loves animals and they love him more.

He used to have a parakeet named Shirley. Shirley never went in her cage and Kenny fed her pizza and Diet Mountain Dew. When he took a trip to Nashville with my mother I had the distinct pleasure of watching the bird. Low and behold it died on my watch. I searched every pet store in the metro-Detroit area for a similar looking parakeet and finally found one that may have passed as Shirley to a blind person. Kenny never noticed, but a week later Shirley 2 kicked the bucket and Kenny was not the least bit upset. I imagine it was all the diet pop that bird was drinking.

(He's wild)

Kenny calls it like he sees it and loves like no other. He thinks he is the shit with his cell phone strapped to his belt and tucks in his sweatshirts. He also wears more jewelry than your average man and currently sports a shark's tooth on a chain, a cross, and a giant rhinestone "K".

Legend has it Kenny used to drive a moped when he was younger.  I would pay some serious money to ride on the back of that hog.

(I miss him all the time)

Ok Kids, it's time for my first ever link up. If you have a blog and want to take part, just grab this button or link to me in your post and write about your family. Be sure to link up below. It would be stellar if you would follow me too, but only if you wanna.

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