Show me the money

I have seen quite a few blog posts lately regarding finances. I am nothing if not a copy cat so I am jumping on this blog wagon and sharing some of my personal financial advice.

I feel pretty strongly about my advice given that I have never had a student loan, have worked since I was 14 years old, and amazingly enough have less in my savings account than my three year old niece. (that kid is fu*king spoiled though)

So if you want to be 28 years old, living in a mediocre apartment and driving a 2006 Scion one day, follow these simple tips.

Party Girl Finance 101

#1. If you want to take a lavish trip to say Spain, London, Rome, Jamaica, or anywhere else for that matter...always charge it. A low number in the old bank account should never stop you from drinking in foreign countries...never!

#2. If you are a little too broke to leave the country, just fly your ass to Boston or somewhere southern for the weekend, because then you can at least get drunk with people with accents.

#3. If you cannot get any extra time off work to justify a flight, just drive to a cute resort town or head to the nearest city and get a room for the night. Just because you are only an hour from home in say DC does not mean you should not spend $100+ dollars on a hotel room.

#4. Always spend at least $100 at the bar. Buy all your friends shots, even if no one wants them and you are broke as a joke.

#5. When you and your boyfriend go out to dinner, don't ever look to groupon or go somewhere inexpensive like Subway, make sure you opt for fine dining. You are a classy bitch you. Order an appetizer and a glass of nice wine. You should always dine like you are a middle aged business man with an expense account.

#6. Spend more money on your dog's treats and toys than your parents spent on your sister's wedding. The dog will love you more the more you spend. Your dog also needs several leashes and collars to match your outfit. And ties, if you have a male dog it needs ties.

#7. Only buy organic groceries. They are always a better value. And start juicing, that has been a really cheap hobby I have developed.

#8. Make sure all your household products and cleaning supplies are eco friendly and/or made of recycled materials.

#9. Only purchase organic shampoos, lotions, and makeup. They only cost a small fortune...so worth it.

#10. Mail multiple packages to your three year old niece and infant nephew each month...they will totally remember all the money you spent on Puma track suits and Calvin Klein onsies.