Let me tell ya about my best friend.

I am the luckiest bitch in the world. I have three best friends. Sadly, they all live in Michigan but I still feel pretty fortunate to say I have three bffs. They can all keep up with me at the bar and know every single thing there is to know about me. Most of the time I really like living in Maryland and have some excellent amigos here, but from time to time I really miss my homies back in Michigan...especially these three

I personally think everyone should invest in three best friends because then when one pisses you off you have two others to hang out with. It is helpful is they are from different circles as mine happen to be. That way they can never gang up on you. Be sure they at least get along though because from time to time they will need to spend time together.

This lovely lady is my best friend from college. We went to a frat party with a mutual friend one evening and the rest is history. I have never had an instant connection with another girl like this one and I! Seriously from that night on we have been inseparable. She is the vodka to my cranberry and the ranch to my chicken wing. We have never had a boring night out, somehow trouble finds us and we are usually the life of the party. I love you muffin.

And then there is this guy. We grew up across the street from each other, his mom used to babysit my sister and I so we have literally been friends since we were two. We have been reeking havoc ever since. He used to be my neighbor and he is not into girls so I sometimes affectionately call him my gaybor. He loves it, he is sassier than I am if you can believe it...and if he gets too drunk there is a good chance he will get into a fight. I have been trying to calm his ass down since the 80s and I wouldn't have it any other way.

And then there is my Samera. That isn't her real name but we read a trashy romance novel aloud to each other a few summers ago and I have referred to her as the main character ever since. We are really weird together. Weird in the sense that we do things like get hammered and read entire romance novels out loud, and we used to like to "dust" each other with make up brushes when we were kids. In high school we would steal her sister's change to buy Slurpee's and we would sometimes play with barbies when we had a few too many. This bitch got married recently so we haven't had as many shenanigans lately, but I know they aren't over....we are both still too weird not to be the best of friends.

I love and miss all three of you, even though you probably aren't reading this like a good best friend would.

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