The time I was left alone with a toddler

I'm gonna be real honest with you guys, yesterday was a bit of a rough one for me.

It was my first day back to work and back to reality after 8 blissfull, drunken days in my homeland of Detroit.

In addition to eating too much, enjoying every moment with old friends and my lunatic parents, and drinking my body weight in booze on multiple occasions, I was able to spend a ton of time with the most beautiful girl on the face of this planet.

Her name is Evie Mae, she is soon to be four, and is far cooler than anyone else I know.

One of the hardest parts of living far from home is that I really don't get much time with my niece and nephew. I mean my friends and family can text and facebook and shit so it's like we are still together. The babies have yet to grasp social media though so I sadly don't get much time with them.

I attempted to make up for some lost time while I was visiting the mitten state however and got to really enjoy the company of Miss Evie. We went to the zoo, got fro yo, hung out at my parent's house where I let her jump on my stomach repeatedly (while hungover), and even went to an art studio to make jewelry. In case you were wondering the cost of doing something like that is akin to buying real jewelry at Kay so weigh your options folks.

In addition to being gorgeous, Evie has quite the little personality. Some of my favorite moments with her were just the funny little comments she made.

After scoping her up from pre-school one morning my mom and I took her to Toys R Us to buy her a few of the lifelike animal statues she loves so much. She told us she needed a mother gorilla so we let her choose one. Once in the car she said, "I don't know if this is a mother, it doesn't have teets." As soon as she arrived back at my sister's house she said, "Mom this gorilla doesn't have a penis." We can thank her grandmother for teaching her that one. 

Right before our ice cream date Evie goes, "Will my mom get mad at me if I have ice cream?" To which I replied, "No, I asked her first." And she declared, "Well I was going to have it anyway."

During our car ride to the art studio she was telling me about some of her toy cars. She said she has one who is really mean and kills other cars. She said he is just like her best friend who is also mean. I asked my sister about this one, and it was confirmed Evie's BFF is a bit of a rascal. She talked more about her mean friend at the zoo when she asked me if peacocks bit. I said, "No not if you are nice to them." And she replied, "Well they would probably bite Cam then."

One evening during dinner at my parents, Evie assigned nicknames to me and my dad. He was Pepperpot and I was Pip.

The quote to end all quotes though, was the day I stopped by my sister's house to say a quick hello. When I tried to leave shortly after Evie informed me, "You have two choices, either you stay here or I throw a tantrum." Needless to say I stayed.

I pretty much miss my little boo like crazy, but she said she wants to fly out to see me soon. Not sure how safe it is for four year olds to fly alone, but I am going to keep on my sister about it.