I'm starting to loose it a little

So I live in the middle of nowhere.

I mean it. Like I pass cows and horses and shit on my way to work. There are less people in my town then I think went to my high school.

It's quite the change of pace for someone who started hanging out at seedy bars in Detroit when they were 17.

I try to make the best out of life always. And for the most part I am a really happy camper.

But some days being stuck in the country really gets to me.

I should note, I know I am not really "stuck" I could pack up and move at anytime to any where, but I won't do that until I find the right job or reason. My life is here right now and that is ok, but I am still going to bitch about it.

I can't stand the lack of good food. Ya'll know I love to eat. Like a lot. We have the poorest excuse for restaurants in my neck of the woods. All chains. I am a chain snob and hate eating in them, but that is essentially all we have so I find myself eating at the same few mediocre non-chains because it is my only option.

You wold probably recommend I just cook at home instead of settling for crappy restaurants, but you should also note how much our grocery stores suck. They suck bad. It is shocking to me because there are farms everywhere!! Where does the food go?? In the summer I can hit up the farmer's markets, but even those only offer a few of the veggies my little hippie diet needs. You would not beleive how excited I get when I see a Trader Joes or Whole Foods...it's a little sad actually. It's a hard knock life for a chow hound in the sticks.

We have the world's worst movie theatre. I love to go to the movies. No kidding back in Michigan I probably went every other week. Not here. No way Jose, the theatre we have is downright disgusting and only has four screens. Two of those screens always have kid's movies playing so most of the films I want to see are never even an option. And any kind of an art film, you must be kidding! That would never happen. Back in Detroit I can think of about three theatres that exclusively played art/foreign films within 20 minutes of each other.

Shopping is another hard pill to swallow. I am not even a huge shopper, but there are many occasions where I find myself really needing a mall or some little cute shops. Case in point, I needed a suit for a work conference recently. Well the "local" mall is an hour and five minutes away from my house. That's right folks 65 minutes. That's a whole lot if you ask me. So I had to buy a suit at J.C. Penny. Nothing wrong with JCP, I just would have really liked to have been able to choose from more than two middle aged mom suits. This is always an issue when I find myself needing a gift for someone. I like to give thoughtful gifts. Think handmade jewelry, art, unique food items, stuff like that. Well they don't carry that shit at Kohl's and Walmart so I find myself out of luck unless I want to make the 1.5 hour trek into DC. I know I can shop online, but it is not the same for me. I like to go into a store and interact with someone, it's fun to me. I find myself settling a lot for the things I buy, and I don't like it.

I feel like I am constantly in my car too, since I miss the city so much manfriend and I take about 45924 trips a year. Anytime we need to do any shopping or anything it is always a really long drive and even when we aren't racking up the miles on my little Scion with getaways we do a lot of day trips just to stay sane. What I wouldn't give to just stay put once in awhile and walk around my own town getting great food and shopping and whatnot.

Lastly, we have shit in the way of bars. I am a bar star. So are my parents and they are in their late 50s so I don't see this changing anytime soon. I meet a lot of people that say they love to just stay in on the weekends and maybe have a drink with their neighbors. Well, not me. Come Friday night all I want to do is plop my happy ass down on a bar stool and make a fool of myself while spending all my money. It's what I do. And we have approximately zero good bars. We had one great little dive and it shut down. Don't even think we have any trendy martini bars or anything like that, no sir. I would honestly be content with a few good hole in the walls, and even that isn't an option. We have a Buffalo Wild Wings. Gag.

Sorry to be a little on the depressing side today kids, I just felt like spilling the beans a little. I am going to keep on making the best of things though, and when I can't I'll just get drunk instead...but not at a bar.

Some of the weirder shit about me

I know you probably thought I was perfect, but I actually am sort of an odd duck.

-I occasionally have a trouble telling time. And by occasionally I mean usually.

-I don't like to eat with my hands. I cut everything up even sandwiches.

-I really like to people watch. I have no shame about it and just stare sometimes which I know is downright creepy.

-I spend money like a Kardashian most of the time, but there are some odd things I am a real cheap ass about: parking, cell phone cases, picture frames, shit like that. I don't really get it.

-Sometimes I miss Fred while I'm at work and I look at pictures of him on my phone.

-I close out apps on my phone compulsively.

-I get anxiety when I drive in construction zones.

-I have to have my shoes tied equally tight on both feet and cannot stand to wear two different socks. Or if one sock is more stretched out than the other. Truth be told I really don't like anything on my feet but flip flops, but sometimes this isn't an option.

-I have to clean while I cook or I will just loose it.

-I hug a pillow at night when I sleep.

-I like to soft bite Fred's ear. I don't know why I am choosing to share this with the Internet but what the hell. I put his soft little ear in my mouth and I bite it sometimes. With my lips not my teeth don't worry, that dog is anything but abused.

-Manfriend on the other hand is abused. I like to pull his arm hair sometimes because I think it's funny.

I am going to stop now before I show any More of my true colors.

Life lately...

...has been pretty darn good.

Pretty darn good indeed. I hope your's has been too.

Just last week Maryland got hit by snowmageddon, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. It caught me by surprise, as I have not seen a lick of snow or cold temps in the three years I have been here until now. As a former Michigander I am pretty tough when it comes to cold and snow but the state of Maryland is not.

The whole state went into a tizzy when we got a few inches and I for one am glad. Glad because it resulted in me getting a day and a half off work. That's right they actually sent us home at 11am last week when it started to snow. That is unheard of in Michigan.

I decided there was only one thing to do when I learned everyone I knew was being sent home and that was to have an adult snow day. So we did. We ate chili, drank bloody Marys, and played darts.

It was so much fun in fact I passed out at 9pm.

 

Only working 2.5 days last week what with the snow days and MLK day was pretty swell. I think I could really get on board with only working 2.5 days every week truth be told. When last weekend rolled around I wasn't even burned out from work for a change.

 

Manfriend and I stayed in on Friday night and watched a bunch of movies. It was nice. Saturday I went to good old spin class then came home and got on my movie watching clothes and we drove the 55 minutes to the movie theater. Yes, I live 55 minutes from civilization, it's great.

 

We thought we left plenty of time to go out for lunch before the movie started but traffic got the best of us and we arrived at the theatre with only 15 minutes to spare. So we did what any reasonable people would do and went across the street to the mall food court. We order two gyros which I stuffed into my purse, a water and a Dr. Pepper went into my coat pockets and into the movies we went.

 

Look how inconspicuous I am. You can't even tell I have two meals in that bag.

 

And to my delight when we walked into the theater, I learned that the movies now offer recliners. If you have never enjoyed a movie from a recliner you are really missing out. It was fantastic.

 

Speaking of fantastic we saw American Hustle. It was honestly amazing and you should go see it right now. Especially if you don't live and hour from the movies like I do.

 

 

That night we decided bowling was a great idea, so two of our friends joined us at the local alley. We had a few beers and bowled and then it was decided we should go across the street to the bar, because one of our friends had never been.

 

Right away the Fireball began flowing and that is never good. I danced with a few strangers, threw darts that all hit the wall, and that is about all I recall.

 

I have been blessed in the recent past with no hangovers. It has been upwards of six months since the hangover gods have graced me with a visit. That is until this weekend.

 

I woke up Sunday morning feeling like death warmed over. In fact all four of us were in terrible shape.

 

I stayed in bed until 2pm only getting up to toss my cookies a few times, and take four showers. I really like to shower when I'm suffering from a hangover.

 

Lucky for us, Fred was being an absolute delight and let manfriend and I be complete wastes of space all day. I finally began to feel normal again around 4pm. I am hoping that was my last hangover for a while because I am really too old for that shit. I just don't like it. I am not drinking again until Saturday and that is a promise guys.

 

How have things been in your neck of the woods??

Lessons learned from Fred the dog.

I think we can all learn a thing or two from dogs. Here are a few of the things I have.

To love no matter what. Sometimes Fred has to stay home alone for a long ass time while I go to work and the gym and Target and whatnot. And guess what, he still loves me like crazy.

To get sooo excited to see people. Fred literally knocks me over most days when I get home, his tail is wagging so fast that his whole butt shakes, not only is it adorable, but it reminds me we should all be so happy to see the ones we love.

To not sweat the small stuff. I often can't sleep (especially on nights I don't go to yoga) because I am thinking a million thoughts. Not Fred though, that little guy passes out the second he hits a couch or bed. He relaxes like we all should. I am working on this one hence the yoga.

To have so much damn fun. Fred gets so friggen excited when you pull out a Frisbee or his ball it is unreal. He freaks the freak out when you say the words dog park or walk and the beach, my god the beach. I try to have this approach in life too, why not get excited about stuff...yolo right?

To not count calories. Fred ate a yoga mat just the other day, and he didn't even think about checking the back to see how many grams of fat! I typically don't worry too much about calories either. For the most part, I eat what I want. I tried doing the whole My Fitness Pal app thing but I kept getting chocolate smears on my iPhone and figured it wasn't really worth it. I will just run around like a maniac more as Fred does to burn the calories.

To have no shame. Fred likes to lay down spread eagle showing off all the goodies on the regular. And you know what, I applaud him for it. Be proud of yourself and don't be shy. What has being shy ever gotten anyone?

To get other people to do shit for you. Mainly manfriend. Fred has a real knack for getting people to hold his bone for him so he can get better leverage for chewing it without said person even noticing until there hand is about to fall off from holding a damn bone. I like to slyly convince manfriend to do chores for me without him realizing too. We all need a minion in life.

To get massages. If Fred wants his ass scratched he just puts it in your face until you have scratched it to his hearts content. I too appreciate a good massage and convince my mom to buy me one every time I see her.

To show affection. Fred licks my face about 34256 times a day and he sits on my lap to show he cares. I like to hug the shit out of people because they need to know. Sometimes I am real weird about it, particularly when I am drunk and I just randomly ask for hugs. Whatever, I guarantee my friends all know how much I love um.

the great spending freeze of 2014

The cat is about the leave the bag guys....

Manfriend and I spend a lot of friggen money.

On trips, and food, and coffee, and everything really.



that's a $12 frozen glass of sin right there....

I mean, I literally have some sort of a disease where I can't stay out of Target and as a result I buy so much shit I don't need.
 

After our little jaunt to NOLA I realized we had spent a small fortune in  just three days. Like so much I don't even want to think about it or I might barf. It was worth every penny and I don't regret it one bit, but I do need to behave here for a few weeks.
 

It's just so hard because Jose and I are really good at living like rich people but according to our paychecks we are just regular people. Weird I know.

I have a trip coming up next month to Austin where I'll no doubt blow the bank and we are going to a concert in DC in just a few weeks which always runs us a boatload of money what with our drinking habbits and all, so until those things happen I am going to be making a vallient effort to not spend money.

No coffees, no dinners out, no bars (we have so much booze in our apartment we have no need to leave), no shopping, I repeat no shopping.

I have somehow convinced Mr. Spendypants to go on a spending freeze with me too. I imagine we will only last a week but we are shotting for three. Wish us luck.

 

that gator knows we're poor. He likes us anyway.
 

 

I confess...

 

-I plan a lot of fake vacations. I could tell you what it costs to fly from DC to just about anywhere in the world because I spend so much time browsing Orbitz for flights. One day I will make it to all the places on my bucket list, in the mean time I will fake travel.

-I spend a lot of time browsing Petfinder too. I just can't get over how cute dogs are (mainly pitt bulls) so I search for them on a regular basis. I also Google pictures of puppies quite frequently.

-I have a real mean streak. It doesn't come out that often but when it does it does. My boyfriend just says I'm sassy, but it may be a little worse truth be told. I get into little spats with people when I don't like their attitude and I should probably cut that shit out. But as it stands I just prefer dogs to people.

-I rarely brush my hair. It is so long, it would just take too much time. The messy waves will just have to do, I am sure it looks terrible most days but whatever.

-I have no idea how to work the thermostat in my apartment. It works to manfriends advantage because he is always hot and I am always cold, so therefor our apartment is always really chilly. I try and try but can't learn to work that damn thing.

-I spilled red nail polish all over my carpet the other day, I tried to clean it and in the end just wound up moving the ottoman so it's hidden. whoops.

Now go read more confessions at the blog Vodka and Soda, I guarantee they are funnier than mine.

because eggplants are better

As I talk about probably more than you care to hear, I am all about balance in life.

This applies particularly to my diet.

One of the things I firmly believe in is eating the things you love in moderation.

I follow this rule when I eat shit like pizza. No matter how you slice it pizza is not the healthiest option for you, it has carbs, fatty cheese, and often fatty meats on it. But it is also delicious.

I will never stop eating things i love like pizza, but when I do order it I go for a lighter version think all veggies instead of peperoni, because it still tastes amazing and cuts a lot of the calories out.

I try to eat things that only have one super heavy element to them. Like if I eat beef I pair it will all veggies, carb heavy dishes with no meat, if something has a lot of cheese I keep the meat out of it, etc..

Likewise if I am drinking copious amounts of booze I forgo snacks that day. (wise I know)

One of my favorite examples of this philosophy is my eggplant lasagna. I can even get my meat loving man friend on board with this one, because it honestly doesn't taste much different than regular old lasagna.

You will need:

-One eggplant peeled
-Jar of tomato sauce
-Garlic
-Mushrooms
-Light ricotta cheese
-Parmesan cheese

Directions:

-Pre-heat oven to 350.

-Peel your eggplant and cut it into long thin strips (they are essentially your lasagna noodles so try and cut them like that).

-Place one layer of eggplant in a square baking dish mine was 9x9.

-In a bowl combine one cup ricotta with a few cloves of garlic (I used about 4 but I am a freak), and a tablespoon of your tomato sauce.

-Add a layer of the ricotta on top of your eggplant.

-Now add a layer of sliced mushrooms and top that with a little more ricotta.

-Add another layer of eggplant and top with a cup of tomato sauce.

-Bake for 40-45 minutes or until eggplant is tender, sprinkle Parmesan cheese on the top for the last ten minutes of baking.

This dish is super rich and filling, it tastes naughty but with the use of low-fat ricotta it is actually fairly light calorie wise.

it doesn't really get any cuter

Want to see something that will melt your heart into a bazillion tiny little pieces, even if it is ice cold like mine??

Well here you go.

I mean come on. Kenny is just too much and that baby (my nephew who hates me) isn't half bad himself.  Happy Friday bitches.

shit I ate in NOLA

You want to know what was amazing about New Orleans other than everything?

The food, that's what.

If there are two things I love putting in my mouth it's hot sauce and seafood and NOLA had me covered.

I figured I would tell you guys about some of the restaurants I chowed down at in case you take my advice and plan a trip there anytime soon.

Also, because after the copious amounts of booze I took in during our visit I won't be eating for several weeks and I want to relive the glorious food through blogging....yum.

So without further ado, here are some can't miss joints in the Big Easy.



I love drinking on the street...I feel so naughty.

Evangeline- This was our first stop in NOLA. A cute little bar that was right near our hotel on Decatur Street. It was casual but a little classier than your average bar. The service was great and the catfish jambalaya was really good. Manfriend got down on the shrimp and grits and it was pretty good, but I think mine are better.

Cafe Beignet- We went to the carry out version of this famous cafe because it is situated in a gorgeous courtyard on Bourbon Street with live music going at all times. We did not try beignets, because I prefer my calories come from booze and am not much of a fried food gal, but we did have a bowl of gumbo here and it was pretty good. Nothing to write home about, but the ambiance could not be beat and the prices were cheap.

Carousel Bar- We did not eat here, but we did get a kick ass bloody mary. This bar is located in the beautiful Hotel Monteleone and guess what?? It friggen spins! Just like a real GD carousel. It was honestly a little much for me and we only lasted two rotations and one bloody, but it is definitely a must check out, because it is just so crazy.

Grapevine- Hands down the beast eats of our trip were had at this romantic little wine bar. I made best pals with an old man named Harrison at approximately 4am Friday night at a little bar called the Turtle and he insisted this was the best restaurant in town. I think he was right. Manfriend and I enjoyed three small plates in lieu of entrees and I am so glad we did. I had a nice glass of red to start and we ordered the bacon wrapped scallops with wild rice, mussels topped with crab, and Angus steak bites. It was all heavenly. Perfect date spot.

 

Kingfish- Sunday night we decided to drink our dinner instead of eating it, but we did save a little room to try an appetizer here. I can't recall the name of the dish seeing as I mainly drank dinner but it was a waffle topped with grilled shrimp and it was friggen good. This was one of those spots where everything sounded amazing and I had a real hard time picking an appetizer. We ended up making the bar tender decide for us, and he did us well.

Antoine's- Probably the best bar we randomly stumbled into just so happens to be the second oldest bar in the country. This place is pure class and elegance. Super ornate and gorgeous decor and a friendly staff serving up craft cocktails. I always love a bar where the bartender gives me the left overs of every one's drinks she is mixing and I get to try things I would never order like a gin fizz for example...surprisingly delicious. The coolest part was at one point the bartender told us and the couple seated next to us to grab our drinks and come on the tour. She then showed us around the entire gigantic restaurant and gave us the history as well as dropped names of all the famous folks who have dinned there. So cool.

Cafe Soule- We had a great breakfast with the world's wackiest waitress at this joint. I had the craw fish eggs bennie served on grit cakes and it was so rich and delicious I only was able to tackle half of one. If you know me you know I rarely don't clean my plate, but it was just so much damn food.


 

A dilly green bean makes a bloody even better, just so you know.

The Coffee was pretty amazing and strong everywhere.


 

Not gonna lie, I feel a little fat after writing down all the crap we ate, but in my defense I drank way more than I ate and we did walk about 6 miles a day....



some reasons working out does not suck...

Every New Year bazillions of people around the globe make the resolution to get fit and loose some weight.

I myself have made that very resolution many times in the past. In fact, this year is the first in a very long time I have not felt the need to loose any pounds and let me just tell ya it feels pretty damn good.

That being said, I struggled with getting into the whole fitness thing for years...like ten to be exact.

That's a lot.

I have recently been watching and hearing about friends and acquaintances in bloglandia and the real world struggle with this very thing.

I am here to tell you, it is not easy to start a work out routine. Not easy at all.

In fact it's hard as shit.

I spent so much time trying to get into it and just continued to fall off the wagon time and time again. And to be honest, I am not sure why it finally clicked but it eventually did and now I work out like a maniac. Every day. Yes, every single day.

I am not trying to toot my own horn not at all actually trust me I used to work out once a week max I know the struggle, instead I just want to share some reasons why I think working out is amazing in hopes that it helps some of you out there who are struggling to find the Fitness Jesus as my buff pal Kathy likes to call it. Because once you find it, you will fu*king love it. I promise.

1. You can eat a lot. I hate diets. I hate counting calories. Sure I pay attention to calories a little here and there, but for the most part I can eat what I want when I want. Burning lots of calories means you can take in more calories. I actually eat more than ever and have lost weight.

2. You want to eat better. When I started my little quest for healthy living I decided not to change my diet and just start working out everyday. And guess what? Within a week or two my diet just changed. Not because I said it had to, but because I wanted it to. When you are doing good shit for your body via exercise you just want to do good for your body via what you eat. I eat clean because I know how hard I work at the gym and the little angel on my shoulder with a six pack makes me feel disgusted at the thought of eating certain foods. It literally just happened, I never planned it. I bet it will work for you too.

3. You sleep so much better. I am a bit of an insomniac. That has not completely changed, but I sleep a thousand times better now that I am actually tiring myself out.

4. Relaxing feels so damn good. I used to come home everyday after work, walk the dog, then plop my happy ass on the couch in front of the TV, only getting up to make and eat dinner. I always felt lazy, and guilty, but I was in a rut. Now when I come home after work and two hours at the gym I love that couch. It feels good to sit. I promise you will appreciate your couch so much more.

5. You are more comfortable. I blame yoga for this one, so do yoga...for real, just do it. I remember always struggling to get comfy in the car, or when I had to sit on the floor, or in conferences and things. Now that I am as stretchy as gumby I can find a comfy position in just about any situation and it is pretty great. Also, if you are running or lifting weights or anything like that, yoga is an amazing idea, it soothes your achy muscles and makes your butt look nice.

6. You are genuinely hungry. Some nights I come home from the gym or after a long run and am legitimately famished. In the past I never went long enough between feedings to be starving and man oh man does food ever taste good when you are really hungry. (Can you tell I love to eat yet?)

7. Clothes. My god the clothes. It had been years since I enjoyed clothes, and now that I am proud of the work I have done to change my bod, I love clothes again. We all have our ideal weights and looks and I am by no means skinny or even close, but making a drastic change will make anyone feel good, and you will be amazed how quickly things do change, and how quickly you will be feeling better in the things you wear and that my friends is fun.

8. Confidence, becoming stronger and healthier makes you feel infinitely better. I started feeling amazing after week one of working out really diligently. I certainly didn't look any different after just a week but I felt better. I have never felt better, you want to feel like that trust me.

9. Strength. It is friggen cool to see how strong you can become. And how much endurance you have. It builds quickly and it is so awesome. The body is an amazing thing. I started my fitness journey thinking I could do very little, but you will be amazed what you can do when you push your limits. And you will be even more amazed when you see how quickly you improve.

10. Balance, for me the best part about exercise is the balance it gives my life. I will never give up eating chocolate or drinking copious amounts of wine or watching too much TV for that matter, but I also do something active every single day so I don't feel guilty if I have an extra slice of pizza or drink a little too much one night. In the end it all evens out. Even when I travel, I don't kill myself but I go for a run or do some yoga every morning so I don't need to worry about watching my calories or limiting my booze intake on vacation, because really who wants to do that.

this one time in New Orleans

Guess what??

Friday, manfriend and I jetsetted off to the Big Easy...just because.

True, we just returned from a nine day vacation in Michigan.

Also true, we took a mini getaway to Baltimore to ring in the new year in a nice hotel.

Even truer, we are broke.

But hell, we love to travel so we did.

It was the first visit for both of us and we spent Friday-Monday doing all kinds of ragin' cajun shit.

And it was fabulous.

I'm not really sure what I expected but the Big Easy exceeded it.

I loved the food, the people, the music, my god the music, the booze, the energy, the beautiful buildings, the history, all of it.

We got real rowdy Friday and Saturday night, kept it a little classier on Sunday and spent our days walking around every inch of the gorgeous city.

We ate like fat kids, and drank like drunk kids. I managed to escape hangovers and even went for a nice run one morning.

If you have ever thought about going, just do it. You won't be sorry.

our sweet ass room at the Blue Green Resort

 

the buildings killed me.

before I lost the ability to walk...

 

just a little mansion, no big deal.

 

giant ass frozen sangria!

 

road rules

So this guy and I recently drove 12 hours to and 12 hours back from Michigan. In a car. With a giant dog.

And it sucked ass. Like really, I hate car trips. Put me on a plane any day.

I like short road trips where you aren't on a strict deadline and you can enjoy the open road and all, but when you just want to be where you are going and there is a half of a day in your way, no thanks.

I have done this hellish commute more times than I care to admit now though, so I have come up with a few ways to not go nuts.

-Eat everything. You can literally never have enough snacks on the road. I would estimate I have a snack about once every 12 minutes when I am in a vehicle.

-Choose your rest stops wisely. We were fools and did not grab dinner at the rest stop with a panera bread when we had the chance. Not sure why because it meant we wound up a Podunk rest stop with the only dinner option being Roy Rogers. I had never even heard of that. And it was not good.

-Better yet, pack your own dinner. I usually get some delicious subs to go with all our snacks in the car, but I wasn't on my A game this year.

-No road trip can begin without getting a gas station coffee to kick things off. I mean it. This is a rule.

-You will probably need lots of coffee on the road.

-Have a good play list of tunes to keep you happy.

-Bring a warm blanket and pillow. Especially if your travel buddy runs at 131241 degrees so he is turning down the heat any time you look away.

-Dress comfy. I refuse to wear real pants on anything longer than a four hour trip. For me it is leggings and ugg boots all the way.

-Get yourself some non-music shit to listen to. I go for pod casts and comedy Cd's. They keep you interested when you start to get weary.

-Have lots of waters, yes it will make you have to stop to pee a lot, but if you are snacking as much as I do, you need a little something to wet your whistle.

-Update your Facebook status every thirty seconds or so to keep things interesting.

-Play the if I win the lotto game over and over, but get real serious about it. Because, why not.

when I'm sick

As I mentioned, I got a little rambunctious while vacationing in Michigan recently.

As a lame ass adult who typically spends her week nights running or doing yoga followed by a nutritious dinner and a little TV time, it was quite a change of pace to spend a week getting hammered at the bar every night and sleeping an hour or two before waking up to day drink and eat candy....it was only a matter of time before it all caught up with me.

I mean who knows, maybe I would have gotten sick anyway, I was hugging and kissing like 864545 people every day during the holidays, but I am going to blame the debauchery with lowering my immune system and rendering me sick as a dog.

I never get sick. Like it had been years. And then the day of our twelve hour trek back to Maryland it hit me. Fever, cough, chills, aches, all of it. So awesome.

I wasn't even able to go back to work on Monday as I planned because I was too sick.

I did have time to think of a list of ways the plague turns me into a whole different human while i was laying in bed for 16 hours just in case you were curious however, so here you go.

-I don't eat. At all. I literally ate nothing for 2 days. Non-sick me likes to eat about five million times a day, and if I skip a meal I get real crabby, not sickling though, she don't eat.

-I hate leaving the house. I knew I should go out and get some cough medicine but I could not bring myself to leave the house, this coming from someone who loves running errands and can't stand staying home all day on a normal basis.

-I sleep like crazy. I am not much of a sleeper truth be told, but when I am sick I am like an infant. Put me to bed and I will not get out of it. I am shocked I don't have bedsores after last week actually.

-I am lazy. Like no energy, any little task takes a lot out of me, it's so weird to me. I am a bit hyper one might say so when wiping down the counter exhausts me it is a bit odd.

-I don't want anyone around me. I love to be surrounded by people. The more the merrier. But when I am sick I just want to be alone. Manfriend doesn't quite get this one but he does mean well.

Here's hoping this is the last plague I come down with for a few more years. Being sick just isn't my style.

humping and whatnot

It is long overdue that I link up with one of my favorite blogs of all the blogs, Vodka and Soda written by the sassiest Canuck around Kathy and post some of my confessions. Humpday confessions to be exact, sorry to get you all excited with the title, there will be no talk of humping actually.

-I love to clean with paper towels. This makes my little hippie heart so sad. I try to recycle everything I touch and be friendly to the earth all the time, but I am also a clean freak and paper towels do the job so much better. Don't judge me though, I am judging myself enough about it already.

-I leave my car at the bar when I drink too much so I am forced to run the next day. It is hard to workout with a hangover, but if you need your vehicle you have no choice.

Can you see the hangover in my eyes??

-I love the TV show Melissa and Joey, I really don't know why it's a pretty terrible show actualy. I have seen every episode though and I can't get enough.

-Every time the song Wrecking Ball comes on, I think ohh I like this, then I remember it is Miley and I hate myself for liking it. But I do. I think it is a great song.

-I never sleep well because my goddamn dog insists on laying on top of me. I try to kick him out of bed and he gets back in, my dog rules my life.

 

Could you say no to that face??

-I became a clean eater a while back. I would say I eat about 85% clean. Maybe even a little more, the only thing I really miss is fake nacho cheese. I love that shit.

-I get my dog a Burger King burger at least three times a month. My dog does not eat clean. He ate a key fab the other day actually, I am pretty sure that isn't organic.

 

Snatching shit off the counter

this one time in Michigan

So I went back to Michigan for eight glorious days during Christmas you guys.

And guess what?

It was fuc*ing wild. There is no other way to describe it.

Amazing, and nice, and fun, but mostly just wild.

I drank like a little fishy and somehow never got a hangover, I'm still trying to figure that one out.

I hung out with my family, saw almost all my old friends, and just had the best time I could have possibly had.

And I miss it already.

Here are some pics, because the details are mostly not Internet appropriate.

Also as a result of my rowdy ways, I wound up pretty sick the day I drove back home. But more on that latter.

the cost of owning a dog

Would you like to know what costs a goddamn fortune?

I'll tell ya, owning a dog that's what.

Fred the dog in particular.

Fred was a rescue pup, so the actual cost of purchasing him was pretty low. All dogs need to go to the vet and eat and shit so I anticipated those expences.

What I did not anticipate was the money I would spend as a result of things he destroyed.

Don't get me wrong, Fred is one of the most well behaved dogs on the planet. I mean it. He is so good almost all the time.

But once in a while the mood strikes him and he just wrecks shit. And it is always something expensive.

I figured I would do a little tally of the items my little angle has cost me just to depress myself. So here you go.

I know this song is terrible, but so is the realization that Fred has destroyed over a thousand dollars worth of stuff, so deal with it.

bring it on 2014

So another year has come and gone. And as I am socially obligated to do according to my Facebook newsfeed, I wanted to take a minute to reflect on the year that is about to end. Sorry this one is going to be a little more personal than I usually like things to get around here, but whatever right.

This was a year for me where nothing particularly out of the ordinary happened.

No giant changes.

No horrible tragedies.

Just a lot of little things that have made it a really huge year for me despite it not seeming that way at the time.

Are you confused yet? Good, me too.

I guess what I am trying to say is I find myself in a very different place in life than I was at the beginning of the year and I don't know why really. I am happier than I have been in quite a long time and more content than I have frankly ever been.

Something I have long struggled with is just being satisfied. I have always want more. And in a lot of ways I like that about myself. It makes me work really hard when I want something, and keeps me motivated to succeed.

But sometimes it can be really shitty too because I often found myself wishing I was somewhere else instead of enjoying where I was or what I was doing. I think somehow I have finally got a good balance. I still want to work hard to change things I am not happy with, but I have also learned to just Let it Be. Seems simple, but for me it wasn't easy to get here.

I just feel pretty content finally. I feel a sense of accomplishment more than ever before because I have really taken life by the balls this year. I have become pretty bad ass at my job (if I do say so myself, my boss says so too), gotten myself healthy as shit (another long time struggle for this cat), and come to a point where if I want to do something I just do it for the most part (this primarily applies to travel and day drinking).

These are all things that have happened slowly and steadily over the last year. And man am I ever glad.

At the beginning of January I made a set of resolutions as I do every single year along with the rest of America. The difference was this year I stuck to almost all of them. That is a first for me.

And just because I feel like over-sharing some more I am going to go ahead and tell you all about my resolutions...feel free to stop reading now if you're bored already.

1. I set a weight loss goal. I have done this for about thirty of the past 28 years of my life. I always say I will get to a certain weight each year, and for the past 5 years or so I have instead just gotten a little larger. This year though for whatever reason I became one of those assholes that goes to the gym every day and eats healthy. Who knew that was the way to loose weight? I sure didn't. I won't tell you how much I weigh or how much I have lost because honestly we all have different "ideal" and healthy weights and I would never ever want someone to feel bad because of a silly number, but let's just say I have never felt better. I am at a point where I do not care what I weigh I care that I am healthy. It is also really nice to enjoy shopping again and to feel confident in a bikini, but honestly the most shocking thing for me is how much I love working out. I really always thought people who said they loved to work out were lying. And that they were just really dedicated and forced themselves to do it everyday, but now I get it. It is so cool to see and feel yourself getting stronger and gaining endurance, and I now get ticked if I have to miss a class at my gym because of something dumb like work instead of dreading going. Even though all I really talk about on this blog is yoga (cuz it's my fave) I have been running 2-3 times a week, taking a spin class, lifting weights, zumbaing, and going to a class called sweatshop where you essentially do squats until you die. I also do yoga and pillates as much as I can. I work out like a beast and I love it. I love it so much.

2. My next goal was to be able to run 6 miles. It took me until May to start working on this goal. I started out running around my block once a few times a week. That is a half mile. And it was really hard. I slowly added on laps and then started adding mileage as I was able. Last week I ran 7.5 miles and it wasn't all that hard. Not nearly as hard as that half mile was a few months ago. That shit is crazy. Craziest part is I now enjoy my runs. Who am I?

3. I set a resolution that I would have a new job and move to a city. I did not accomplish this goal. It is no secret I live in a rural ass area and I don't love it. I do however love my job. If I was willing to take just any job I could easily make this happen, but at this point I am not ready for that. I want to find an awesome job in an awesome place, and I have my peepers open, but in the meantime I am going to be happy with what I have. A great job, amazing coworkers, and a gorgeous river view from my office.

4. I have always loved to write, long before this little blog of mine. I used to write short stories and poems and all kinds of shit. I decided in 2013 I would start writing a book and I did. I started two actually. Hopefully I will be richer than the women who wrote Fifty Shades of Gray soon.

5. Next was to take a great trip. I went a little wild with this one and took 16 trips in 2013. No wonder I have no money. A few of them were small like overnight benders in Baltimore, but most were full fledged bad ass trips. New York, Seattle, Outterbanks, the list goes on and on. 2014 has a lot to live up to in this department, but I already have the plane tickets booked for New Orleans and Austin so I think I am off to a good start.

6. My last resolution was to become good at yoga. Now I have a long way to go to get to where I want to be, but when I think back on my first few yoga classes I am amazed at the shit I can do. Yoga has changed my life for the better in a lot of ways and I can't recommend it enough.

I am going to keep my 2014 resolutions a secret for now, but I am hopeful that 2014 brings lots of good things for everyone I know. I find myself in so much better a place that I was just a year ago, which is strange because I never felt like I wasn't in a good place. Let's hope it keeps getting better.

Happy New Year Bitches.

may old acquaintance be forgot

I actually don't want to forget any of my acquaintances, I don't get that line...can someboby splain it to me?

I do want to wish all of you a very happy new year's day however. Let's make 2014 our bitch!