On the road

As I've mentioned like 9,949 times lately (sorry I'm excited) Fred and I recently moved to Denver.

It is a long ass way from Maryland to Denver and Fred and I drove it. In just over two days. It wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be. I did feel like I was getting bed sores from sitting so long, my bike came un-strapped from my bike rack like 30 times and I am pretty sure I stayed in a crack hotel in St. Louis...otherwise it wasn't so bad.

Day one I managed to drive all the way from my house to St. Louis. That's 15 hours. I am still shocked I did that.

Day two I drove from St. Louis to about 100 miles east of Denver. I tried really hard to finish the trip, but I was starting to get way too tired, so I was able to pull into Denver around nine am on the third day of my road trip. 

Here are some highlights from the trek:

Everything I own packed into a scion. That is some expert packing if I do say so myself. 

Fred and I went for walks in eight states in two days. That is neat.

Our hotel in St. Louis was really sketchy. So sketchy in fact that even Fred was scared, we both slept with one eye open, and I set this trap just in case anyone tried to come in and kill us. In hindsight I should have left...but we made it out alive.

Fred was an absolute angel the entire 28 hours. He mostly slept or shared road snacks with me. He did manage to shift the car into neutral eight times and put on the hazard lights with his paw twice, but otherwise he was the best road buddy you could ever have.

At one point I got BBQ in Kansas and sat on a curb on the side of a freeway with Fred to eat it because I am classy. It was friggen delicious.

One of my best friends lives in Missouri, I was able to have coffee with him before I hit the road on day two. It was great to see him.

The road started to get to us when we hit Kansas...

we're here

well guys, we did it.

Fred the dog and I made the 1,700 mile, 28 hour trek to Colorado.

We arrived early Thursday morning and instantly fell in love with this city.

And I mean that. I am in love.

I keep tearing up as I walk around thinking about how lucky I am.

I blame the altitude for making me so sappy, I hope to go back to being snotty soon.

I am just the happiest camper around. Life is good and I promise to tell you all more about it soon, but right now I am just to busy drinking it all in. And drinking, I have been doing a bit of that too.

this one time in Austin...

So yeah, this is a continuation of my travel saga post from yesterday.

If you missed it for some un-Godly reason, you should totally check it out first.

 

I finally learned to use my Kindle. It came in mighty handy what with all the time I spent in airports.

Anywho, I get off the plane in Vegas to learn that thanks to the GD snow my flight is canceled.

I maintained my cool as a cucumber composure and thought, "a'int no thang, I'll catch the next flight". As you can imagine my tardy for the party attitude has caused me to miss a few flights in my day.

So I go down to the ticket agent and am all, "yeah my flight is cancelled I need the next one."

To which he informs me there is no other flight until Friday night. Mind you it is currently Wednesday night and I am supposed to meet my mom in Texas Friday morning. "Umm that won't work, I need to be in Austin on Friday morning," I say. (I am still surprisingly calm and have not even gone slightly bitchy.)

I start racking my brain and think, hmm maybe Delta can just change my flight from Richmond to Austin over to Vegas to Austin.

So, I charm the ticket agent with my wit and good looks (and by that I mean he takes pity on me) and he is able to switch my flight so I will fly from Vegas to Austin the next afternoon. Sweet I think! I will stay over night in Vegas then fly out to see mom the next day.

And then it hits me.

My car is in Baltimore and my return flight is to Richmond (the airports are over 2 hours apart) and I am landing at like midnight, with an important meeting the next day. I freak the freak out and call manfriend. He calms me down and is all, well it will suck but just rent a car when you get to Richmond and drive it to your car in Baltimore.

ok, so that sucks, but at least I had a plan.

I get on my trusty cell phone and book a hotel room. All the while keeping a mental tally of all the GD money I am spending out of my own pocket for a job I probably won't get. But I decided to make the best of it, and was able to find a cheap ass room in Vegas that was surprisingly nice.

I check in, get some grub, and then fall asleep in my giant $47 suite.

The next morning I wake up and realize I have nothing in the way of clothing for my upcoming vacation in Austin. I was trying to cut costs so I did not pay for a carry-on on my Spirit flight to Denver. I had with me: a suit, a pair of jeans, some chuck taylors, one t-shirt, jammies, and one spare pair of undies. That was it.

So I did what any reasonable person would do and washed my undies in the sink, and dried them off with the hair dryer. I put on the previous days outfit and was just about to set out on the strip to find some clothes when I get a call.

And it was the job.

And they gave it to me, and then I was so happy!

So to celebrate I went to Caesar's Palace for coffee because I'm wild like that. I took this selfie:
 

I spent a fantastic, sunny day in Vegas walking around the strip and even bought myself a whole boatload of low-quality clothing at H and M for $65, so I was ready to head to Austin (a day early mind you, but whatver, I had clean undies and a new job at this point)

I went to the airport (by pure luck in a black Denali), flew to Austin via a layover in Salt Lake City, booked myself a super sketchy hotel room near the airport when I landed, then met up with my mom the next day.

I told her about my job offer, she cried, and then we proceeded to have a glorious time.

We ate a lot. I finally got my hands on Mexican street corn which I have wanted to try for ages. We don't have trendy food in my neck of the woods. Here is Sandy and her corn:
 

We went into a fancy hotel as I like to do when I travel:

That hotel had a fantastic Bloody Mary bar. Here is my creation:

We waited too long to get in line for the famous Texas BBQ at Franklins, so we did not have any. We had burgers instead and they were amazing.

At one point I steeped in some dog poo whilst wearing sandals. I washed my foot in the bathroom of a bar shortly thereafter:
 

If this is your bar, I appologize.

I love spending time with my mom:
 

She had her first fro yo experience after we paddled around in swan boats:
 

We saw a bunch of bats fly out from under a bridge:
 

We each rode a jackelope:
 

Sandy even danced with the doorman of a bar on sixth street:

The best part came when I got to the Austin airport and began dreading my hellish time getting back to my car (which if you recall was parked at a different airport than the one I was flying into). I decided to see if I could work my magic. And work it I did.

Lance, the kindly clerk at the Delta counter was able to switch my flight so it would be landing Baltimore...free of charge. The whole reason I was flying to and from Richmond to begin with was it saved my mom like 200 buckaroos on the ticket, so I was shocked they did this. #Ilovedelta!

And that my friends is how I managed to visit seven different airports in seven days, and got an unexpected trip to Vegas. I also did some dancer's poses with the Austin skyline in the background. Life you are so good sometimes.
 

this one time in Denver...

It just dawned on me I never shared the deets of the shitshow that was my recent job interview/mother daughter vacation.

I also just realized I haven't posted a picture in a post in like 34 years. #bloggeroftheyear. (Does my hashtag usage make up for it?? I hope so)

Anyway, I figured I would dazzle your minds with my travel tales even though it is a few weeks late.

I was given no choice on the date of my job interview, there was only one date that they were interviewing so I had very little options in terms of when I went out to Denver. It just so happened the interview date was just 2 days before the start of my mother/daughter vacation with Big Sandy. There is no way I was going to pass up a free vacation or the opportunity to get drunk with my mom, so I worked things out so I could do both. Keep in mind I live in the middle of nowhere so selecting an airport is never easy. The closest is 80 minutes away....that's a lot of minutes.

The plan:

Fly from Baltimore to Denver on Tuesday (with a long ass layover in Dallas because I booked a cheap flight on Spirit).

Arrive in Denver Tuesday night at 5pm.

Have interview Wednesday morning.

Fly back to Baltimore Wednesday evening (with a short layover in Vegas), arrive in Baltimore at 7am Thursday.

Fly from Richmond to Austin, Texas to meet my mom on Friday morning.

What actually happened:

The Baltimore airport is 2 hours and some change from my house, it was cold as shit and I had to be up at about 5am to make it on time, this is my airport look:

 

I arrived in Dallas for my four hour layover only to learn it was now a six hour layover! This is how I spent my time at the airport:

 

I finally arrived in Denver after 17 hours of total travel time. This was the car they let me drive at the rent-a-car.:

I had hives on my arms and did not sleep a wink as a result of my nerves begin shot before my interview.

They told me they would be in touch within a week regarding my status. Here is my I need a drink look:

Luckily I have a childhood friend living in Denver. We hadn't seen each other in 8 years, but wound up having the best time. It was not awkward at all as a result of including a fair amount of alcohol in our reunion. This is us romping around Denver:

 

I arrived in Denver late Tuesday and had to leave Wednesday afternoon, it was my first time there. This view sold it for me. Sorry it is blurry, but I was driving that giant Jeep for crying out loud. I know I am going to love this view.

 

 

I set out to return the rental car with only 65 minutes before my flight time. You know how they tell you to arrive two hours before your flight? I always ignore that. I get to rent-a-car world and the nice lady tells me I better fill the tank or they will charge me $9 a gallon! I whip out of there and fill the tank at the closest station. I am in such a rush, I actually spray some gas on the ground (Zoolander what!) I go back to rent-a-car land and get on the little shuttle. Somehow I make it to my gate in time.

 

I step off the plane in Vegas for my short layover. I look at the screen to see what gate I need and SURPRISE!! My flight is canceled.

 

ok, this is getting long as shit, come back tomorrow and hear the rest. There is mention of my underwear so you know it's a good time!!

I no longer have anything

That's right kids, I pretty much got rid of all my worldly possessions over the last week.

You can call me many things, but financially responsible is not one of them, so with that in mind it makes sense that I have opted to give away all my stuff and just buy new things when I get to Denver.

I don't know why I decided to do this, but it's done and I have now downsized my junk to (hopefully) one car load of stuff. It is going to be a tight squeeze, but I think it will work.

To be honest, going through all my things and purging a good portion of them has been pretty therapeutic. I feel sort of free right now, lame as that might sound.

I am also excited to pick out a bunch of new shit once I am settled in. I plan to be quite stylish in my new life...I imagine that stylishness will last about two weeks before I am back to normal.

So what made the cut...

-My clothes...kinda need them, as much as I work out, no one wants to see me walking around naked. Plus it gets cold in Colorado. I am bringing the obscene amount of jewelry and shoes I have as well.

-Some Kitchen stuff. My wine glasses (they are fancy and I love them), my hand mixer (I rarely use it but I love it just the same), my juicer, my Ninja chopper, a few random kitchen utensils, the silverware (my mom bought it for me when I got my first place on my own and I like it for that reason), my collection of spices (I love spices yo), a cutting board, and one pan.

-All Fred's junk. He has more collars than you can shake a stick at and a whole bunch of toys and whatnot.

-My records and record player. Gotta have tunes.

-My various toiletries and bathroom products. I don't have many on account of I am terrible at being a girl.

-My wall art and photos. A few nick knacks too.

and that's it.

Everything else has either been donated or given away. Man friend is keeping all the furniture.

I have also in the last week transformed from feeling sad/nervous/overwhelmed/happy to just simply happy and excited.

Fred and I hit the road next Tuesday, and I kind of can't wait.

I hope you guys are all doing great. For those of you who write blogs, please know I am still reading um, I am just doing it on my phone when I can catch a spare minute (work is still cray) so I am not commenting because I am not tech savvy enough to be a wiz at phone comments.