you should know

So just as I warned, I have indeed become a really shitty blogger.  I know it is a little weird to go through with changing the name of my blog and then just dessert it, but that's pretty much the way it went down. 

You see I loved doing this whole blogging thing for a really long time.  I enjoyed writing in this space.  I loved emailing back and fourth with my blog buddies.

And then I didn't like it that much anymore.  Don't get me wrong, I will always love to write and I think the Internet frands I have made are amazing, but it started to feel like work after awhile and ain't nobody got time for that.  (well actually lots of people do and that is amazing, but I just don't right now.)

So with that said, you probably won't be seeing me around these parts for a little while.  Maybe I will have a change of heart and start writing like a madwoman again, and maybe I won't.  We shall see.

But there are some things I want all of you bloggers out there to know....because I just do.

1. I still read your blogs. Every one of you who I used to email back and fourth with. You know who you are. I just don't comment much because it takes a lot of time to keep up with comments as you all know.  Now I'm just a blog creeper and I like it that way. 

2. Everything is good, minus the manfriend not being here...that sucks a lot.  Otherwise I am so happy. I love Denver, I am working out like crazy and feeling wonderful.  My job is super. Things are just all around good.

3. I am poor as shit. Moving cost me so much loot. I will be back on my feet in like 2 weeks but not spending money like a Kardashian doesn't come easy for me.  I blame my parents for never making me go without.

4. I am even more addicted to yoga than I was before.  I am pretty sure I like it more than wine, I can't even believe I just said that.

5. I hope you are all doing great.  I will keep keeping tabs on you by being a blog creeper but I hope you know you are all special.

6. The world's most delicious cereal is Trader Joes coconut, cranberry granola.  Go buy it now.  You're welcome.

7. Fred is digging Denver.  We hike every weekend and I drag him all over the city.  There is also a dog patio bar less than a mile from our front door.

just some things

Hi guys.

Hope everyone had a good Easter. I spent mine with a wicked hangover, brunch and a BBQ.

It was actually nice, minus the hangover.

Life is still good, and I am sorry I still suck at blogging. I'm just keeping busy. Between work and obsessive yoga class attending, and dog parking, and drinking there just aren't enough hours in the day.

Today as I took Fred on his 500th walk of the day, I couldn't stop smiling because of the beautiful smell of whatever this tree is. It made me super happy and it was just what I needed. I wish you all could smell them too, because whatever they are it's fantastic.

My sister sent me this pic of Arthur John. It's just too much cute too handle if you ask me.

Then there is this guy. I know I am a crazy dog lady but Fred makes me happy each and every day. And I love Denver for being so dog friendly. Fred comes all over this city with me, and it's awesome.

I just realized it looks like I'm not wearing a shirt, I promise I am...I only go shirtless to yoga class.

The day I decided to not wear a shirt...in public

I try really hard not to judge.  I mean it, I am pretty open minded and typically give folks the benefit of the doubt.

Every now and again however, I find myself being judgy.  I don't like it, but it happens.

One thing I have been known to seriously judge biotches on is when they wear sports bras to the gym. I mean just a sports bra, obviously anyone with tig ole bitties needs a sports bra on under their shirt, but it has always really bugged me when I saw gals walking around half nakie in the gym.

I know it can be hot, but this is America, we have air conditioning...wear a shirt.

I'm not really sure if it is the fact that I thought these girls were being a tad flashy, or if I was just jealous because I did not have the abs of steel to rock this look, but mostly I think I just always thought it was unnecessary.

I mean I work out really hard when I am at the gym, I do spin and zumba and all that sweaty crap. Never once though had I been too hot for a shirt. That is until I started taking hot yoga classes.

Fred and I sprawled out after a yoga sesh

Have you ever done hot yoga? Well when they say hot, they mean it.

I believe the room is approximately 4,599 degrees and if you go to the studios in the cool neighbor hoods there are at least 7,508 other sweaty ass yogis in the room. It smells really nice let me tell ya.

So I started doing hot yoga, and I quickly changed my tune in regards to bitches in sports bras. Instead of judging them I started thinking they were the smartest people in the room. It is honestly so hot you start to sweat before you even move a muscle and every article of clothing on your body becomes completely soaked. It's nasty and I swear to god if it was allowed I would take those classes in the buff.

I have been going pretty regularly several times a week and in each class most of the gals were practicing sans shirt.

So this weekend I thought why the hell not...I'm gonna do it.

I put all my insecurities aside and went to class in a bra.

And naturally I walked into a packed class and not a single other person had decided to leave their shirt at home.

I felt pretty uncomfortable at first I won't lie. I get weird about certain things, and I kept looking at my tum feeling a little awkward, and then I started sweating like a hog in whore house or however that saying goes and I got over it.

By the end of the hour I was thrilled to not have a shirt on and silly as it may sound I feel sort of liberated having faced my dumb insecurity by showing half of Denver my goodies. By goodies I just mean my sweaty ass belly, I left my other clothes on.

I guess now I will think twice about judging people based on what they work out in, unless it's jeans. I will always judge someone who works out in jeans, that shit's just crazy.

Also, if you haven't tried hot yoga you probably should. I hated the first class but once you get used to how friggen hot it is, it's pretty amazing. And it kind of gets you high. No kidding, it does and it feels good.

the way i will die

Is that title creepy or what?

I know I'm a creep sorry.

I'm going to miss Fred the most.

But seriously, as of last week I know how I'm going to die.

It probably won't be long either. It is going to happen on the mean streets of Denver guys.

You see in an effort to really embrace my new urban lifestyle and fit in with all the healthy ass hipsters out here I have been riding my bike all over creation. JK it's actually because parking is a bitch in the city and I refuse to drink and drive, but the other reasons sound cooler.

Anyway, my first voyage went down on a Thursday.  A friend and I were to meet at a bar on the other side of town, I mapquested it and according to the GPS lords it was 4 miles away and would take me a mere 15 minutes to ride there.

Saweet I thought.  I hopped on my trusty bike and gave myself 30 minutes just to be on the safe side.  Turns out either mapquest is cray or I suck at biking because it took me 45 minutes.  45 minutes of sheer terror.

I had heard stories that in Denver you are not supposed to ride on the sidewalk but I just assumed that was a wive's tale so I rode on the sidewalk like I was taught to do as a youngster. I made it about 4 minutes before every homeless person in the city of Denver screamed at me to get in the street and I nearly collided with about 100 pedestrians.

So I did it. I went into the street.

Now, I had never biked in a city in my life, but I googled it and knew you were supposed to bike as if you were driving a car and follow traffic accordingly.  Well guess what?? That is friggen terrifying!! I hate that you cant see the cars coming and I am convinced each and everyone that passes is going to hit me.

I made it though eventually and then I got tipsy and rode home, downhill.  And that was even scarier.  A lot scarier actually.  Bike riding might be the only thing out there that I am not more awesome at after a few beers.

I guess it will just take some getting used to, and I should probably get a helmet if I am going to continue riding to bars.  Or maybe I am just weird in that I have done all kinds of crazy shit in my life and this is what I find scary.

Who knows, either way still in love with Denver :)

Hope you guys all have great Mondays.

Why I love denver

It's sunny everyday.  No joke.

A large percentage of the population is crazy active.

As in I work out during lunch with my co-workers on the regular.

I run faster out here, somehow I shaved 2+ minutes off my mile since the move.

I get to walk this guy all over and there is a dog park at the end of my street.

I can leave my car in the parking lot all weekend because everything I want is just steps away.

The altitude gets me hammered super fast.

There are a plethora of great bars.

The city is filled with gorgeous parks.

and the incredible food. Thank god for all the walking, because man have I been eating well!! 

My new place

As I mentioned before I really intended to do my due diligence when choosing a place to live in the great state of Colorado.  Instead, I went all impulsive like and leased a place my 

second day.

My job is about 20 miles outside of Denver. It probably would have been wise to live there, or maybe somewhere in the middle.

After spending the last three years in the ruralist of the rural of the country however, I knew I wanted to live downtown more than I wanted a short commute to work so that is what I did.

I have been in my place for a few weeks now and it's pretty great.  I live in a sassy little neighborhood filled with tattoo parlors, bars and great restaurants...and it's phenomenal.

My square footage is about 480...

there is no laundry in my unit, so I have been hitting up the laundromat and washing things in my tub.

....my bathroom smells a little bit like moth balls, my stove currently doesn't work, my rent is insanely high and I could not be happier.

I mean it. I could have found a really nice place in the suburbs I have no doubt, but I adore walking to coffee shops with Fred and traipsing home from the bar at the wee hours of the morning.

I love taking my pup on 98 walks a day going running through the cute streets of my hood and walking to yoga classes.  I pretty much have everything I ever wanted.

I had to buy all new furniture when I arrived so that partnered with the cost of the road trip, 10 nights in a hotel, and a few big bar tabs means I am pretty poor right now.  So poor I can't afford to decorate which is killing me, but I promise to post more pics when I can afford to buy throw pillows and art work for the walls.

before unpacking the first night

enjoying dinner on a storage bin...

I lived sans furniture for a week, once I bought a couch, Fred instantly stole the good spot.

I love my table!

The ramada

fred in our temporary home

So if there was any doubt about whether or not I am a good blogger, I think we can all agree now that I am the worst!!

I really never meant to just stop posting, but then I moved to Denver and I have just been so busy exploring my new city.

I have been here for three weeks and three days now.  In some ways it seems like I just got here, and in others I feel so at home that I can't believe it hasn't even been a month.

I am certainly going to try and be less terrible of a blogger in the coming weeks, but I can't really promise that.  My job is no longer conducive to blogging at work (I love my new job by the way!) and I am just digging it here so much, I find myself pretty busy.  

I do want to tell you all about getting settled in and then I will probably just be writing a series of love letters to this city, because I am head over heels guys.

this dog loves hotels

After I accepted my new job in Denver I only had a month to get all my ducks in a row, move, find somewhere to live and start my new job.  A month as it turns out is not very long.

So I did what any reasonable adult would do and decided to wing it.

I booked a cheap hotel in dowtown Denver for the first few nights, but beyond that I just didn't know what I would do. 

I kind of imagined I would either find a sublease to learn the city before signing anything long term or staying at an extended stay to cut costs.

But then the Ramada we stayed at the first few days ended up being in a pretty cool location and when I went running the first morning I decided that was where I should live, so I made an appointment to see an apartment and leased the very first one I saw.

I am many things, but an over thinker is not one of them.

I wasn't able to move in for a week, and really didn't want to move all my shit out of the Ramada, plus they were accepting of a 100 pound dog so I worked my magic and got them to let me stay there for the week at a discount of 75 dollars off a night.

I instantly felt comfortable at my new job, and also in this city.  It's wonderful guys honestly it is.

Here are a few pics.  I will give you some more deets soon!!

I loaded all my worldly possessions into the ramada so my car would not look like an episode of hoarders for my first day of work.

headed out of the city for some rocks one day :)

On the road

As I've mentioned like 9,949 times lately (sorry I'm excited) Fred and I recently moved to Denver.

It is a long ass way from Maryland to Denver and Fred and I drove it. In just over two days. It wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be. I did feel like I was getting bed sores from sitting so long, my bike came un-strapped from my bike rack like 30 times and I am pretty sure I stayed in a crack hotel in St. Louis...otherwise it wasn't so bad.

Day one I managed to drive all the way from my house to St. Louis. That's 15 hours. I am still shocked I did that.

Day two I drove from St. Louis to about 100 miles east of Denver. I tried really hard to finish the trip, but I was starting to get way too tired, so I was able to pull into Denver around nine am on the third day of my road trip. 

Here are some highlights from the trek:

Everything I own packed into a scion. That is some expert packing if I do say so myself. 

Fred and I went for walks in eight states in two days. That is neat.

Our hotel in St. Louis was really sketchy. So sketchy in fact that even Fred was scared, we both slept with one eye open, and I set this trap just in case anyone tried to come in and kill us. In hindsight I should have left...but we made it out alive.

Fred was an absolute angel the entire 28 hours. He mostly slept or shared road snacks with me. He did manage to shift the car into neutral eight times and put on the hazard lights with his paw twice, but otherwise he was the best road buddy you could ever have.

At one point I got BBQ in Kansas and sat on a curb on the side of a freeway with Fred to eat it because I am classy. It was friggen delicious.

One of my best friends lives in Missouri, I was able to have coffee with him before I hit the road on day two. It was great to see him.

The road started to get to us when we hit Kansas...

we're here

well guys, we did it.

Fred the dog and I made the 1,700 mile, 28 hour trek to Colorado.

We arrived early Thursday morning and instantly fell in love with this city.

And I mean that. I am in love.

I keep tearing up as I walk around thinking about how lucky I am.

I blame the altitude for making me so sappy, I hope to go back to being snotty soon.

I am just the happiest camper around. Life is good and I promise to tell you all more about it soon, but right now I am just to busy drinking it all in. And drinking, I have been doing a bit of that too.

this one time in Austin...

So yeah, this is a continuation of my travel saga post from yesterday.

If you missed it for some un-Godly reason, you should totally check it out first.

 

I finally learned to use my Kindle. It came in mighty handy what with all the time I spent in airports.

Anywho, I get off the plane in Vegas to learn that thanks to the GD snow my flight is canceled.

I maintained my cool as a cucumber composure and thought, "a'int no thang, I'll catch the next flight". As you can imagine my tardy for the party attitude has caused me to miss a few flights in my day.

So I go down to the ticket agent and am all, "yeah my flight is cancelled I need the next one."

To which he informs me there is no other flight until Friday night. Mind you it is currently Wednesday night and I am supposed to meet my mom in Texas Friday morning. "Umm that won't work, I need to be in Austin on Friday morning," I say. (I am still surprisingly calm and have not even gone slightly bitchy.)

I start racking my brain and think, hmm maybe Delta can just change my flight from Richmond to Austin over to Vegas to Austin.

So, I charm the ticket agent with my wit and good looks (and by that I mean he takes pity on me) and he is able to switch my flight so I will fly from Vegas to Austin the next afternoon. Sweet I think! I will stay over night in Vegas then fly out to see mom the next day.

And then it hits me.

My car is in Baltimore and my return flight is to Richmond (the airports are over 2 hours apart) and I am landing at like midnight, with an important meeting the next day. I freak the freak out and call manfriend. He calms me down and is all, well it will suck but just rent a car when you get to Richmond and drive it to your car in Baltimore.

ok, so that sucks, but at least I had a plan.

I get on my trusty cell phone and book a hotel room. All the while keeping a mental tally of all the GD money I am spending out of my own pocket for a job I probably won't get. But I decided to make the best of it, and was able to find a cheap ass room in Vegas that was surprisingly nice.

I check in, get some grub, and then fall asleep in my giant $47 suite.

The next morning I wake up and realize I have nothing in the way of clothing for my upcoming vacation in Austin. I was trying to cut costs so I did not pay for a carry-on on my Spirit flight to Denver. I had with me: a suit, a pair of jeans, some chuck taylors, one t-shirt, jammies, and one spare pair of undies. That was it.

So I did what any reasonable person would do and washed my undies in the sink, and dried them off with the hair dryer. I put on the previous days outfit and was just about to set out on the strip to find some clothes when I get a call.

And it was the job.

And they gave it to me, and then I was so happy!

So to celebrate I went to Caesar's Palace for coffee because I'm wild like that. I took this selfie:
 

I spent a fantastic, sunny day in Vegas walking around the strip and even bought myself a whole boatload of low-quality clothing at H and M for $65, so I was ready to head to Austin (a day early mind you, but whatver, I had clean undies and a new job at this point)

I went to the airport (by pure luck in a black Denali), flew to Austin via a layover in Salt Lake City, booked myself a super sketchy hotel room near the airport when I landed, then met up with my mom the next day.

I told her about my job offer, she cried, and then we proceeded to have a glorious time.

We ate a lot. I finally got my hands on Mexican street corn which I have wanted to try for ages. We don't have trendy food in my neck of the woods. Here is Sandy and her corn:
 

We went into a fancy hotel as I like to do when I travel:

That hotel had a fantastic Bloody Mary bar. Here is my creation:

We waited too long to get in line for the famous Texas BBQ at Franklins, so we did not have any. We had burgers instead and they were amazing.

At one point I steeped in some dog poo whilst wearing sandals. I washed my foot in the bathroom of a bar shortly thereafter:
 

If this is your bar, I appologize.

I love spending time with my mom:
 

She had her first fro yo experience after we paddled around in swan boats:
 

We saw a bunch of bats fly out from under a bridge:
 

We each rode a jackelope:
 

Sandy even danced with the doorman of a bar on sixth street:

The best part came when I got to the Austin airport and began dreading my hellish time getting back to my car (which if you recall was parked at a different airport than the one I was flying into). I decided to see if I could work my magic. And work it I did.

Lance, the kindly clerk at the Delta counter was able to switch my flight so it would be landing Baltimore...free of charge. The whole reason I was flying to and from Richmond to begin with was it saved my mom like 200 buckaroos on the ticket, so I was shocked they did this. #Ilovedelta!

And that my friends is how I managed to visit seven different airports in seven days, and got an unexpected trip to Vegas. I also did some dancer's poses with the Austin skyline in the background. Life you are so good sometimes.
 

this one time in Denver...

It just dawned on me I never shared the deets of the shitshow that was my recent job interview/mother daughter vacation.

I also just realized I haven't posted a picture in a post in like 34 years. #bloggeroftheyear. (Does my hashtag usage make up for it?? I hope so)

Anyway, I figured I would dazzle your minds with my travel tales even though it is a few weeks late.

I was given no choice on the date of my job interview, there was only one date that they were interviewing so I had very little options in terms of when I went out to Denver. It just so happened the interview date was just 2 days before the start of my mother/daughter vacation with Big Sandy. There is no way I was going to pass up a free vacation or the opportunity to get drunk with my mom, so I worked things out so I could do both. Keep in mind I live in the middle of nowhere so selecting an airport is never easy. The closest is 80 minutes away....that's a lot of minutes.

The plan:

Fly from Baltimore to Denver on Tuesday (with a long ass layover in Dallas because I booked a cheap flight on Spirit).

Arrive in Denver Tuesday night at 5pm.

Have interview Wednesday morning.

Fly back to Baltimore Wednesday evening (with a short layover in Vegas), arrive in Baltimore at 7am Thursday.

Fly from Richmond to Austin, Texas to meet my mom on Friday morning.

What actually happened:

The Baltimore airport is 2 hours and some change from my house, it was cold as shit and I had to be up at about 5am to make it on time, this is my airport look:

 

I arrived in Dallas for my four hour layover only to learn it was now a six hour layover! This is how I spent my time at the airport:

 

I finally arrived in Denver after 17 hours of total travel time. This was the car they let me drive at the rent-a-car.:

I had hives on my arms and did not sleep a wink as a result of my nerves begin shot before my interview.

They told me they would be in touch within a week regarding my status. Here is my I need a drink look:

Luckily I have a childhood friend living in Denver. We hadn't seen each other in 8 years, but wound up having the best time. It was not awkward at all as a result of including a fair amount of alcohol in our reunion. This is us romping around Denver:

 

I arrived in Denver late Tuesday and had to leave Wednesday afternoon, it was my first time there. This view sold it for me. Sorry it is blurry, but I was driving that giant Jeep for crying out loud. I know I am going to love this view.

 

 

I set out to return the rental car with only 65 minutes before my flight time. You know how they tell you to arrive two hours before your flight? I always ignore that. I get to rent-a-car world and the nice lady tells me I better fill the tank or they will charge me $9 a gallon! I whip out of there and fill the tank at the closest station. I am in such a rush, I actually spray some gas on the ground (Zoolander what!) I go back to rent-a-car land and get on the little shuttle. Somehow I make it to my gate in time.

 

I step off the plane in Vegas for my short layover. I look at the screen to see what gate I need and SURPRISE!! My flight is canceled.

 

ok, this is getting long as shit, come back tomorrow and hear the rest. There is mention of my underwear so you know it's a good time!!