I do know however, that there are several other occasions when you should just not eat. Like at all.
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Exhibit A. I made the unwise decision to eat a burrito approximate 12 minutes prior to yoga class this week. Not a good call. Probably one of my worst decisions, and that coming from someone who once swan dove off a balcony of a frat house. My tum was a mess the entire class. I felt like a walrus the entire class, and I am pretty thrilled that I didn't toss my cookies on anyone's mat.
Number 2. You should never in a million years eat before you shop for a swim suit. I chose to eat buffalo chicken strips directly before swimwear shopping earlier the season, and lets just say it was only slightly less horrifying than doing the tricep press with a belly full of burrito. You want to go a minimum of 5 hours of eating when you shop for a bathing suit. It is the only way.
Next. Even more important, never eat before jean shopping. I don't know why it is so difficult to find a pair of pants that make your ass look sensational, but it sure is. I recommend at least two days between your last meal and jean shopping for the best results. Sadly for me, shopping and eating seem to go hand in hand, so I have yet to master this one, but maybe some day.
Numero quatro. Skip eating before you do any drinking. I proved this point over the weekend. If you want a real wild time, just forgo food for the day and then get all liquored up in the evening. Works like a charm I tell ya.
Lastly. Do not eat before you zumba. I had a whole bunch of bacon before shaking what my mama gave me a few weeks ago, and it was not delightful. In fact I burped up bacon on multiple ocasions. I mean bacon is a great thing to burp up, but much like the yoga burrito debacle, a granola bar might have been a better option.
15 comments:
All very good points! I try and do my bathing suit shopping and jean shopping first thing in the morning before eating anything and when I feel my most skinny. I was cracking up at the burrito/yoga story. haha
Yupp! #4 is my favorite :) Especially if you're drinking beer, that's like drinking a carb loaded dinner anyway!
All good advice. However, ALWAYS eat before you go grocery shopping...or else you may go home with the entire store in your cart. It happens to the best of us. ...hahaha
Haha omg yoga after a burrito is asking for it! I love that 2 days without eating before jean shopping, couldn't agree more!
Uhguhhhh shopping when you've eaten is the worst. But I can't go in a mall without going to the food court! Catch 22
I hate feeling like I'm going to puke in a zumba class.
No food + booze = Blackout Town
Always say yes to burritos just not before Yoga! I am such a light when that i need to drink before or during drinking or I will be done after 2 drinks. Sad but true!
I do the not eating before drinking all the time- saves calories AND provides for a wild night. ;)
awesome advice. I also can't eat to soon before bed or I get wacky dreams (esp. with spicy foods!).
Bahahaha! You are hysterical. I am guilty of stuffing my face with whatever I want with no discretion towards what I will be doing- this is great! I love your blog title, I feel like I'm living the dream too with sometimes often bad decisions! Well, you got yourself a new follower and I hope you might like to follow me too.
Best,
CD
ican'taffordmylifestyle
haha yes! any kind of rigorous movement on a full belly is never fun
i once ate before a massage - BIG MISTAKE. do you know how hard it is to clench up your butt cheeks to hold in the fart that will make everyone vomit when there's a person trying to massage you? and then telling you to please relax THE WHOLE TIME but you can't because if you do, you'll just let one rip that will smell like you ate garbage?! LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE AND DON'T DO IT!
-kathy
Vodka and Soda
Laughing out loud, like a maniac at work right now...
thanks, Erin....
You always crack me up!
ummmm dressing rooms are hellish all the damn time. preach sister.
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