Keeping up with Fred

Hey guys, I gotta be  honest, I have nothing to say today. I have a lot of silly work to do and I was not feeling up to snuff last night, so I leave you with a post I wrote a little while back when I took over the blog Dog Hair is an Accessory. The adorable dog pictured below who is not Fred is the author, Adriana's, dog Lil. Her blog post today about Miley Cyrus and what she can learn from dogs is pretty much the best thing on earth, so go check that out.

Ten Ways Dogs are just like Bitchy Socialites 

(this applies to male dogs too, not just the real bitches)

1.) When they get mad they get even

Fred recently got pissed about something or another and decided to ruin my $400 RayBan glasses. Not sunglasses mind you, like the ones I need to see. It was pretty awesome. Almost all dogs decide to ruin something or pee on your floor from time to time. Just like an irate socialite will key your car, burn your house down, or write mean songs about you (I'm talking about you Taylor Swift).

2.) They need their beauty rest.

Both dogs and rich girls love them some sleep. Don't even try to wake Fred up before he is good and ready, he will growl at you. I used to watch Laguna Beach, those girls were the same way.

3.) The expect to be catered to.

Fred lives life like the friggen Kardashians. He has hairstylists, manicurists, chefs, and maids. It must be nice dogs, it must be nice.

4.) They eat their feelings.

Some days Fred just wants to eat everything in sight. Just like girls seem to go right to the ice cream when they get dumped.

5.) The are emotional.

Fred flips shit if he gets yelled at and does everything but write F-you on his knuckles when he gets in trouble.

6.) They nag.

When a dog wants you to throw their ball they will literally sit and bark in your face until you do it. The Real Housewives seem to be constantly nagging their husbands the same way.

7.) They can be super sneaky and manipulative.

Once again watch The Real Housewives, there is shadyness in every damn episode. Fred has his shady moments too, he will climb his ass up on our table from time to time and steal our things. He takes them to his room and lays with them. It is usually a hat or bra...

8.) They have lots of friends.

They might talk behind each other's backs, but they definitely have their posse. And they are always all up in each other's business.

9.) The love getting presents.

Really though, who doesn't? Dogs and socialites are pretty ungrateful however, so don't expect a genuine thank you.

10.) They love to cuddle.

All the damn time.