Small town livin

I've probably mentioned a time or two that I grew up on the mean streets of Detroit and moved to a VERY rural part of Maryland a few years ago.  (just over two to be exact)

To say it has been a bit of an adjustment is an understatement.  Living here is very different from what I am used to.  It took a while to make friends, and there are not many bars in the area.  My entire life in Michigan pretty much revolved around my three thousand friends and being a bar star, so you can imagine my struggles.  There is also nothing in the way of shopping, another go to for me back in Michigan.  The closest mall is an hour away.  We have a Walmart, Kohl's, Dicks, and thank god a Target and Marshalls.  Everything is a chain, including all the restaurants.  I can only think of about five locally owned restaurants and there are even fewer shops.  I am a snob about buying local and supporting small business so this has been a hard adjustment.

The first time I realized I wasn't in Kansas (Detroit) anymore was when manfriend and I went for a drive the day after we arrived.  I noticed there were not many buildings and lots of open spaces.  I looked out the window and saw a sign at the end of a driveway that read, "Goats for Sale".  Ok WTF...in Detroit you might see a sign that say "Pitt Bulls for Sale" and I am ok with that, but goats...really?? 

I also quickly learned that the local radio reports every crime incident that occurs live on air.  That includes traffic infractions, and everything else.  I knew I had to watch myself because if I get caught acting up everyone in town will know, and i love to act up.  It didn't take long before we started to get to know everyone around, there aren't many people so it was pretty easy. 

For the most part, I have adjusted to living here, the only thing that is really hard is the fact that the area is heavily dependent on a military base, that means a lot of people coming and going.  It seems like as soon as we make friends, they have to relocate!  That has been really tough, I have met some truly amazing friends, and had to say goodbye about a thousand times in two years.

So now, I am going to share some facts with you about my little town.

The hillbillies around here are refered to as SMIBS, you can look it up on Urban Dictionary.  It stands for Southern Maryland Inbreds.  There are a lot of them.  This is not unique to where I live though, there are SMIBS in every town and city all over the world, they just call them something different depending upon where you are...there are lots of really great people here too.

Some SMIBS have nails like this.

I went to see a play around Christmas time, keep in mind Christmas is in December, the lady next to me was wearing capri length sweat pants and slippers.  It made sense for her to wear carpis though, because she had to show off her beautiful Confederate flag in the shape of a butterfly tattoo.

This was a really nice bumper sticker I saw the other night.

The county fair is a big old deal.  You can buy all kinds of farm animals and the SMIBS get all gussied up.

Marylander's LOVE crabs....

My local grocery store is such a wonderful cultural experience because it really combines the SMIB culture and some ghetto all in a one stop shop.  The employees keep everyone informed with signs like this.

SMIB land is not all bad, not by any means.  It is pretty dang beautiful here.  This is the view from my office.

and you can buy pigeons, tazers, knock off purses, and sex toys all in one place at the local flea market.

So, when are you coming to visit??